忏悔录 Confessions | BOOKVIII Chapter1 感恩歌

BOOKVIII Chapter1

感恩歌

O my God, let me, with thanksgiving, remember, and confess unto Thee Thy mercies on me. Let my bones be bedewed with Thy love, and let them say unto Thee, Who is like unto Thee, O Lord? Thou hast broken my bonds in sunder, I will offer unto Thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving. And how Thou hast broken them, I will declare; and all who worship Thee, when they hear this, shall say, "Blessed be the Lord, in heaven and in earth, great and wonderful is his name. "

我的上帝，我愿回忆、诉说你对我的慈爱，借以表示我的感激。希望你的爱使我浃肌沦髓，使我的骨头说：“主，谁能和你相似？你解除了我的束缚，我要向你献上歌颂之祭。”[1]我将讲述你怎样解除我的束缚，希望敬拜你的人们听了我的话，都能说：“愿主受颂扬于上天下地；他的圣名是伟大而奇妙！”[2]

Thy words had stuck fast in my heart, and I was hedged round about on all sides by Thee. Of Thy eternal life I was now certain, though I saw it in a figure and as through a glass. Yet I had ceased to doubt that there was an incorruptible substance, whence was all other substance; nor did I now desire to be more certain of Thee, but more stead fast in Thee. But for my temporal life, all was wavering, and my heart had to be purged from the old leaven. The Way, the Saviour Himself, well pleased me, but as yet I shrunk from going through its straitness.

你的话已使我铭记肺腑，你已四面围护着我。我已确信你的永恒的生命，虽然我还“如镜中观物，仅得其仿佛”[3]；但我对于万物所带来的、你的不朽本体所有的疑团已一扫而空。我不需要更明确的信念，只求其更加巩固。我的暂时的生命依旧在动荡之中，我的心需要清除陈旧的酵母；我已经爱上我的“道路”，我的救主，可是还没有勇气面向着崎岖而举足前进。

And Thou didst put into my mind, and it seemed good in my eyes, to go to Simplicianus, who seemed to me a good servant of Thine; and Thy grace shone in him. I had heard also that from his very youth he had lived most devoted unto Thee. Now he was grown into years; and by reason of so great age spent in such zealous following of Thy ways, he seemed to me likely to have learned much experience; and so he had. Out of which store I wished that he would tell me (setting before him my anxieties) which were the fittest way for one in my case to walk in Thy paths.

你启示我使我以为应向西姆普利齐亚努斯请益。我认为他是你的忠仆，在他身上显示出你的恩宠。我听说他自幼即热心侍奉你。这时他年事已高，他一生恪遵你的道路，我相信他具有丰富的经验和广博的见识。事实确是如此。因此我愿意将我的疑难请他解决，请他就我当时的心境，指示我适当的方法，走你的道路。

For, I saw the church full; and one went this way, and another that way. But I was displeased that I led a secular life; yea now that my desires no longer inflamed me, as of old, with hopes of honour and profit, a very grievous burden it was to undergo so heavy a bondage. For, in comparison of Thy sweetness, and the beauty of Thy house which I loved, those things delighted me no longer. But still I was enthralled with the love of woman; nor did the Apostle forbid me to marry, although he advised me to something better, chiefly wishing that all men were as himself was. But I being weak, chose the more indulgent place; and because of this alone, was tossed up and down in all beside, faint and wasted with withering cares, because in other matters I was constrained against my will to conform myself to a married life, to which I was given up and enthralled.

我看见教会中人才济济，各人有进修的方式。我已经讨厌我在世俗场中的生活，这生活已成为我的负担。我先前热中名利，现在名利之心已不能催促我忍受如此沉重的奴役了。由于我热爱你的温柔敦厚和你美轮美奂的住所，过去的尘情俗趣在我已不堪回首。但我对女人还是辗转反侧，不能忘情。使徒并不禁止我结婚，虽然他劝我们更能精进，希望人人能和他一样。不中用的我却选择了比较方便的行径；仅仅为了这一事，我便被其他一切缠扰得没精打采，种种顾虑将我折磨，因我既已接受婚约的约束，对于我不愿承担的其他负担也必须配合着夫妇生活而加以适应。

I had heard from the mouth of the Truth, that there were some eunuchs which had made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake: but, saith He, let him who can receive it, receive it. Surely vain are all men who are ignorant of God, and could not out of the good things which are seen, find out Him who is good. But I was no longer in that vanity; I had surmounted it; and by the common witness of all Thy creatures i had found Thee our Creator, and Thy Word, God with Thee, and together with Thee one God, by whom Thou createdst all things.

我曾听到真理亲口说过：“有些人是为了天国而自阉的；可是谁能领受的了，就领受吧！”[4]“那些不认识上帝的人，都是昏愚的人，因为他们徒见悦目的东西，而不识物之所来”。[5]我已经破除了这种昏愚，已能高出一筹，从万有的证据中找到你上帝，我们的创造者，找到你的“道”，与你同在的上帝，与你同是唯一的上帝，你因他而创造万物。

There is yet another kind of ungodly, who knowing God, glorified Him not as God, neither were thankful. Into this also had I fallen, but Thy right hand upheld me, and took me thence, and Thou placedst me where I might recover. For Thou hast said unto man, Behold, the fear of the Lord is wisdom, and, Desire not to seem wise; because they who affirmed themselves to be wise, became fools. But I had now found the goodly pearl, which, selling all that I had, I ought to have bought, and I hesitated.

另有一种大逆不道的人，“他们虽然认识上帝，却不当作上帝去荣耀他，感谢他”。[6]我也曾堕入此种错误之中，你的手拯救我出来，把我安放在能治愈疾病的处所，因为你对人说过：“诚信即是智慧”；“不要自以为聪明，因为谁自称为聪明，谁就成为愚拙”。[7]我已经找到了“明珠”，我本该变卖所有一切将它购进，而我还在迟疑不决。