忏悔录 Confessions | BookVI Chapter10 婚姻问题

BookVI Chapter10

婚姻问题

Alypius indeed kept me from marrying; alleging that so could we by no means with undistracted leisure live together in the love of wisdom, as we had long desired. For himself was even then most pure in this point, so that it was wonderful; and that the more, since in the outset of his youth he had entered into that course, but had not stuck fast there in; rather had he felt remorse and revolting at it, living thenceforth until now most continently.

阿利比乌斯却阻止我结婚，他一再对我说，我一结婚，我们就绝不能依照许久以来的心愿，在安定的时间，为爱好智慧而一起生活。阿利比乌斯在这方面真是一尘不染，而特别令人惊奇的是他进入青年时也曾一度体验过男女之爱；可是他绝不留恋，反而更觉懊悔，从此以后，便度着非常纯洁的生活。

But I opposed him with the examples of those who as married men had cherished wisdom, and served God acceptably, and retained their friends, and loved them faithfully. Of whose greatness of spirit I was far short; and bound with the disease of the flesh, and its deadly sweetness, drew along my chain, dreading to be loosed, and as if my wound had been fretted, put back his good persuasions, as it were the hand of one that would unchain me.

我提出有些人结婚后服膺智慧、有功于上帝，对朋友也始终不渝，作为例子来反驳他。其实这些人的伟大胸襟我是望尘莫及，我不过是肉欲的奴隶，我带着我的枷锁，还感到死亡的甜蜜，我害怕它，还拒绝别人的忠告，好像解救我的手碰痛了我的伤口。

Moreover, by me did the serpent speak unto Alypius himself, by my tongue weaving and laying in his path pleasurable snares, where in his virtuous and free feet might be entangled.

不仅如此，蟒蛇还通过我对阿利比乌斯说话，笼络他，用我的唇舌在他的道路上撒下温柔的罗网，想绊住他正直而自由的双足。

For when he wondered that I, whom he esteemed not slightly, should stick so fast in the birdlime of that pleasure, as to protest (so oft as we discussed it) that I could never lead a single life; and urged in my defence when I saw him wonder, that there was great difference between his momentary and scarce-remembered knowledge of that life, which so he might easily despise, and my continued acquaintance where to if the honourable name of marriage were added, he ought not to wonder why I could not contemn that course; he began also to desire to be married; not as overcome with desire of such pleasure, but out of curiosity. For he would fain know, he said, what that should be, without which my life, to him so pleasing, would to me seem not life but a punishment. For his mind, free from that chain, was amazed at my thraldom; and through that amazement was going on to a desire of trying it, thence to the trial itself, and thence perhaps to sink into that bondage where at he wondered, seeing he was willing to make a covenant with death; and he that loves danger, shall fall into it.

他对我也非常诧异，他素来崇拜我，而我竟会陷在这种肉情的胶漆中，我们讨论这问题时，我竟然肯定我独身不娶，便不能生活。我见他不胜惊奇，为了替自己辩护，我甚至说他过去那一次抢来的、偷偷摸摸的体验，几乎已经忘怀，因此很容易对此表示轻蔑，丝毫无所眷恋，这和我生活上的乐趣有很大区别。这种乐趣如果再挂上正大光明的婚姻美名，那么便不会诧异我为何不能轻视这种生活。最后他也开始想结婚了，当然不是被肉体的快乐所吸引，而是出于好奇心。他说他是喜欢目前的生活，而我却以为没有那种乐趣，生活便不成为生活，而是受罪，因此他愿意知道这乐趣究竟如何。他的精神本是自由而不受这种束缚，所以奇怪我甘愿被奴役，从奇怪进而也想尝试，这尝试可能会使他陷入他所奇怪的奴役中，因为他愿意“和死亡立约”，“谁爱危险，将跌入危险之中”。[14]

For whatever honour there be in the office of wellordering a married life, and a family, moved us but slightly. But me for the most part the habit of satisfying an insatiable appetite tormented, while it held me captive; him, an admiring wonder was leading captive. So were we, until Thou, O Most High, not forsaking our dust, commiserating us miserable, didst come to our help, by wondrous and secret ways.

我们两人都很少注意到婚姻的光荣在乎夫妇和谐与养育子女的责任。对于我，主要是贪求情欲的满足，情欲俘虏我，磨折我；对于阿利比乌斯，则是好奇诱导他步入我的后尘。我们当时的情况是如此，直至你至高的上帝不放弃我们这团泥土，怜悯我们的不幸，用奇妙而隐秘的方式来解救我们。