忏悔录 Confessions | BookⅦ Chapter2 恶的原因

BookⅦ Chapter2

恶的原因

But I also as yet, although I held and was firmly persuaded that Thou our Lord the true God, who madest not only our souls, but our bodies, and not only our souls and bodies, but all beings, and all things, wert undefilable and unalterable, and in no degree mutable; yet understood I not, clearly and without difficulty, the cause of evil. And yet whatever it were, I perceived it was in such wise to be sought out, as should not constrain me to believe the immutable God to be mutable, lest I should become that evil I was seeking out. I sought it out then, thus far free from anxiety, certain of the untruth of what these held, from whom I shrunk with my whole heart: for I saw, that through enquiring the origin of evil, they were filled with evil, in that they preferred to think that Thy substance did suffer ill than their own did commit it.

我虽然承认你是不可能受玷污，不可能改变，不可能有任何变化，虽然坚信你是我们的主、上帝，虽然坚信你不仅创造我们的灵魂，也创造我们的肉体，不仅创造我们的灵魂肉体，也创造了一切的一切，但对于恶的来源问题，我还不能答复，还不能解决。不论恶的来源如何，我认为研究的结果不应迫使我相信不能变化的上帝是可能变化的，否则我自己成为我研究的对象了。我很放心地进行研究，我是确切认识到我所竭力回避的那些人所说的并非真理，因为我看到这些人在研究恶的来源时，本身就充满了罪恶，他们宁愿说你的本体受罪恶的影响，不肯承认自己犯罪作恶。

And I strained to perceive what I now heard, that free-will was the cause of our doing ill, and Thy just judgment of our suffering ill. But I was not able clearly to discern it. So then endeavouring to draw my soul's vision out of that deep pit, I was again plunged there in, and endeavouring often, I was plunged back as often.

我听说我们所以作恶的原因是自由意志，我们所以受苦的原因是出于你公正的审判，我对于这两点竭力探究，可是我还不能分析清楚。我力图从深坑中提高我思想的视线，可是我依旧沉下去；我一再努力，依旧一再下沉。

But this raised me a little into Thy light, that I knew as well that I had a will, as that I lived: when then I did will or nill any thing, I was most sure that no other than myself did will and nill: and I all but saw that there was the cause of my sin. But what I did against my will, I saw that I suffered rather than did, and I judged not to be my fault, but my punishment; where by, however, holding Thee to be just, I speedily confessed myself to be not unjustly punished.

有一点能略略提高我，使我接近你的光明，便是我意识到我有意志，犹如意识我在生活一样。因此我愿意或不愿意，我确知愿或不愿的是我自己，不是另一人；我也日益看出这是我犯罪的原因。至于我不愿而被迫做的事，我也看出我是处于被动地位，而不是主动；我认为这是一种惩罚，而不是罪恶，想起你的公正后，我很快就承认我应受此惩罚。

But again I said, Who made me? Did not my God, Who is not only good, but goodness itself? Whence then came I to will evil and nill good, so that I am thus justly punished? Who set this in me, and ingrated into me this plant of bitterness, seeing I was wholly formed by my most sweet God? If the devil were the author, whence is that same devil? And if he also by his own perverse will, of a good angel became a devil, whence, again, came in him that evil will whereby he became a devil, seeing the whole nature of angels was made by that most good Creator? By these thoughts I was again sunk down and choked; yet not brought down to that hell of error (where no man confesseth unto Thee), to think rather that Thou dost suffer ill, than that man doth it.

但我再追问下去：“谁创造了我？不是我的上帝吗？上帝不仅是善的，而且是善的本体。那么为何我愿作恶而不愿从善？是否为了使我承受应受的惩罚？既然我受造于无比温良的上帝，谁把辛苦的种子撒在我身上，种在我心中？如果是魔鬼作祟，则魔鬼又是从哪里来的呢？如果好天使因意志败坏而变成魔鬼，那么既然天使整个来自至善的创造者，又何从产生这坏意志，使天使变成魔鬼。”这些思想重新压得我透不过气，但不致于把我推入不肯向你认罪，宁愿说我屈服于罪恶而不顾承认我作恶的错误深渊。

For I was in such wise striving to find out the rest, as one who had already found that the incorruptible must needs be better than the corruptible: and Thee therefore, what so ever Thou wert, I confessed to be incorruptible. For never soul was, nor shall be, able to conceive any thing which may be better than Thou, who art the sovereign and the best good. But since most truly and certainly, the incorruptible is preferable to the corruptible (as I did now prefer it), then, wert Thou not incorruptible, I could in thought have arrived at something better than my God. Where then I saw the incorruptible to be preferable to the corruptible, there ought I to seek for Thee, and there observe "where in evil itself was"; that is, whence corruption comes, by which Thy substance can by no means be impaired. For corruption does no ways impair our God; by no will, by no necessity, by no unlooked-for chance: because He is God, and what He wills is good, and Himself is that good; but to be corrupted is not good. Nor art Thou against Thy will constrained to any thing, since Thy will is not greater than Thy power. But greater should it be, were Thyself greater than Thyself. For the will and power of God is God Himself. And what can be unlooked-for by Thee, Who knowest all things? Nor is there any nature in things, but Thou knowest it. And what should we more say, "why that substance which God is should not be corruptible," seeing if it were so, it should not be God?

我努力找寻其他真理，一如我先前发现不能朽坏优于可能朽坏，发现你不论怎样，定必不能朽坏等真理一样。人决不能想像出比至尊至善的你更好的。既然不能朽坏确实优于可能朽坏，一如我已经提出的，那么，如果你可能朽坏，我便能想像一个比你更好的东西了。因此，既然我看出不能朽坏优于可能朽坏，便应从这一方面研究你，进而推求恶究竟在哪里，换言之，那种绝对不能损害你的朽坏从哪里产生的。朽坏，不论来自意志，不论出于必然或偶然，都不能损害我们的上帝，因为你既是上帝，上帝所愿的是善，上帝就是善的本体，而朽坏便不是善。你也不能被迫而行动，因为你的意志不能大于你的能力；倘若意志大于能力，那么你大于你本身了，因为上帝的意志与能力即是上帝的本体。你又无所不能，对于你能有偶然意外吗？一切所以能存在，都由于你的认识。对于上帝本体的不能朽坏，不必多说了，总之，上帝如果可能朽坏的话，便不成为上帝了。

And I sought "whence is evil," and sought in an evil way; and saw not the evil in my very search. I set now before the sight of my spirit the whole creation, what so ever we can see therein (as sea, earth, air, stars, trees, mortal creatures); yea, and whatever in it we do not see, as the firmament of heaven, all angels moreover, and all the spiritual inhabitants there of. But these very beings, as though they were bodies, did my fancy dispose in place, and I made one great mass of Thy creation, distinguished as to the kinds of bodies; some, real bodies, some, what myself had feigned for spirits. And this mass I made huge, not as it was (which I could not know), but as I thought convenient, yet every way finite. But Thee, O Lord, I imagined on every part environing and penetrating it, though every way infinite: as if there were a sea, everywhere, and on every side, through unmeasured space, one only boundless sea, and it contained within it some sponge, huge, but bounded; that sponge must needs, in all its parts, be filled from that unmeasurable sea: so conceived I Thy creation, itself finite, full of Thee, the Infinite; and I said, Behold God, and behold what God hath created; and God is good, yea, most mightily and incomparably better than all these: but yet He, the Good, created them good; and see how He environeth and fulfils them.

我探求恶的来源时，我探求的方式不好，我在探求中就没有看出恶。我把眼前的全部受造物，如大地、海洋、空气、星辰、树木、禽兽，和肉眼看不见的穹苍、一切天使和一切神灵都排列在我思想之前。我的想像对于神体也分别为之位置，犹如具有形体一般。我把受造之物，或真正具有形体的，或本是神体而由我虚构一种形体的集合在一起，成为庞大的一切，当然不是按照原来的大小，因为我并不清楚，而是按照我的想像，但四面都有极限。而你呢，我的上帝，你包容、渗透这一群，但各方面都是浩浩无垠的，犹如一片汪洋大海，不论哪里都形成一个无涯的海洋，海洋中有一团海绵，不论如何大，总有限度，而各方面都沉浸在无限的海洋中。我是这样设想有限的受造物如此充满着无限的你。我说：“这是上帝以及上帝所创造的万物，上帝是美善的，上帝的美善远远超越受造之物。美善的上帝创造美善的事物，上帝的包容、充满着受造之物。

Where is evil then, and whence, and how crept it in hither? What is its root, and what its seed? Or hath it no being? Why then fear we and avoid what is not? Or if we fear it idly, then is that very fear evil, whereby the soul is thus idly goaded and racked. Yea, and so much a greater evil, as we have nothing to fear, and yet do fear. Therefore either is that evil which we fear, or else evil is, that we fear. Whence is it then, seeing God, the Good, hath created all these things good. He indeed, the greater and chiefest Good, hath created these lesser goods; still both Creator and created, all are good. Whence is evil? Or, was there some evil matter of which He made, and formed, and ordered it, yet left something in it which He did not convert into good? Why so then? Had He no might to turn and change the whole, so that no evil should remain in it, seeing He is All-mighty? Lastly, why would He make any thing at all of it, and not rather by the same Allmightiness cause it not to be at all? Or, could it then be against His will? Or if it were from eternity, why suffered He it so to be for infinite spaces of times past, and was pleased so long after to make something out of it? Or if He were suddenly pleased now to effect somewhat, this rather should the All-mighty have effected, that this evil matter should not be, and He alone be, the whole, true, sovereign, and infinite Good. Or if it was not good that He who was good should not also frame and create something that were good, then, that evil matter being taken away and brought to nothing, He might form good matter, where of to create all things. For He should not be All-mighty, if He might not create something good without the aid of that matter which Himself had not created.

恶原来在哪里？从哪里来的？怎样钻进来的？恶的根茎、恶的籽粒在哪里？是否并不存在？既然不存在，为何要害怕而防范它呢？如果我们不过是庸人自扰，那么这种惧怕太不合理，仅是无谓地刺激、磨折我们的心；既然没有怕惧的理由，那么我们越是惧怕，越是不好。以此推想，或是我们所惧怕的恶是存在的，或是恶是由于我们惧怕而来的。既然美善的上帝创造了一切美善，恶又从哪里来呢？当然受造物的善，次于至善的天主，但造物者与受造物都是善的，则恶确从哪里来的呢？是否创造时，用了坏的材料，给予定型组织时，还遗留着不可能转化为善的部分？但这为了什么？既然上帝是全能的，为何不能把它整个转变过来，不遗留丝毫的恶？最后，上帝为何愿意从此创造万物，而不用他的全能把它消灭净尽呢？是否这原质能违反上帝的意愿而存在？如果这原质是永恒的，为何上帝任凭它先在以前无限的时间中存在着，然后从此创造万物？如果上帝是突然间愿意有所作为，那么上帝既是全能的，为何不把它消灭而却保留着整个的、真正的、至高的、无限的善？如果上帝是美善，必须创造一些善的东西，那么为何不销毁坏的材料，另造好的材料，然后再以此创造万物？如果上帝必须应用不受他创造的材料，然后能创造好的东西，那么上帝不是全能了！”

These thoughts I revolved in my miserable heart, overcharged with most gnawing cares, lest I should die ere I had found the truth; yet was the faith of Thy Christ, our Lord and Saviour, professed in the Church Catholic, firmly fixed in my heart, in many points, indeed, as yet unformed, and fluctuating from the rule of doctrine; yet did not my mind utterly leave it, but rather daily took in more and more of it.

这些思想在我苦闷的心中辗转反侧，我的心既害怕死亡，又找不到真埋，被深刻的顾虑重重压着。但是公教会所有对于你的基督、我们的教主的信仰已巩固地树立在我心中，这信仰虽然对于许多问题尚未参透，依然飘荡于教义的准则之外，但我的心已能坚持这信仰，将一天比一天更融入于这信仰之中。

But this time also had I rejected the lying divinations and impious dotages of the astrologers. Let Thine own mercies, out of my very inmost soul, confess unto Thee for this also, O my God. For Thou, Thou altogether (for who else calls us back from the death of all errors, save the Life which cannot die, and the Wisdom which needing no light enlightens the minds that need it, where by the universe is directed, down to the whirling leaves of trees?) Thou madest provision for my obstinacy where with I struggled against Vindicianus, an acute old man, and Nebridius, a young man of admirable talents; the first vehemently affirming, and the latter often (though with some doubtfulness) saying, "That there was no such art where by to foresee things to come, but that men's conjectures were a sort of lottery, and that out of many things which they said should come to pass, some actually did, unawares to them who spake it, who stumbled upon it, through their of speaking." Thou providedst then while consulters and consulted know it not, dost by Thy hidden inspiration effect that the consulter should hear what, according to the hidden deservings of souls, he ought to hear, out of the unsearchable depth of Thy just judgment, to whom let no man say, what is this? Why that? Let him not so say, for he is man.

我对于星相家荒谬的预言，糊涂的论调，早已不屑一顾。我的上帝，对于这一事，我愿从我心坎肺腑中诉说你的慈爱。因为是你，完全是你——谁能使我脱离错误的死亡？只有不知死亡的生命，只有不需要光明而能照彻需要光明的心灵的智慧，统摄世界、甚至风吹树叶都受其操纵的智慧才能如此——是你治疗我不肯听信明智的长者文提齐亚努斯和杰出的青年内布利提乌斯的忠告而执迷不悟的痼疾。前者是非常肯定地，后者则以稍有犹豫的口吻一再对我说，并没有什么预言未来的法术，不过人们的悬揣往往会有偶然的巧合，一人滔滔汨汨的谈论中，果有不少话会应验，只要不是三缄其口，否则总有谈言微中的机会。你的神机默运不是占卜星命的术人所能窥见的。求你使那些推求命运的人懂得应该依照每个人灵魂的功过听候你深邃公正的裁夺。任何人不要再说：“这是怎么回事？” “为何如此？”任何人不要再如此说，因为我们不过是人。

↓ 往期内容链接 ↓

BookⅠ

【有声】忏悔录 Confessions |BookⅠ Chapter1 颂扬

【有声】忏悔录 Confessions |BookⅠChapter2 呼吁

【有声】忏悔录 Confessions |BookⅠChapter3 呼吁

【有声】忏悔录 Confessions |BookⅠChapter4 讴歌

【有声】忏悔录 Confessions |BookⅠChapter5 洁子心灵

【有声】忏悔录 Confessions |BookⅠChapter6 孩童获宠

【有声】忏悔录 Confessions |BookⅠChapter7 孩子的天真

【有声】忏悔录 Confessions |BookⅠChapter8 牙牙学语

【有声】忏悔录 Confessions |BookⅠChapter9 威胁挨打

【有声】忏悔录 Confessions |BookⅠChapter10 学生的苦楚