忏悔录 Confessions | BookⅡ Chapter3 偷窃的故事

BookⅡ Chapter3

偷窃的故事

Theft is punished by Thy law, O Lord, and the law written in the hearts of men, which iniquity itself effaces not. For what thief will abide a thief not even a rich thief, one stealing through want. Yet I lusted to thieve, and did it, compelled by no hunger, nor poverty, but through a cloyedness of well-doing, and a pamperedness of iniquity. For I stole that, of which I had enough, and much better. Nor cared I to enjoy what I stole, but joyed in the theft and sin itself.

主，你的法律惩罚偷窃，这法律刻在人心中，连罪恶也不能把它磨灭。哪一个窃贼自愿让另一个窃贼偷他的东西？哪一个富人任凭一个迫于贫困的人偷窃？我却愿意偷窃，而且真的做了，不是由于需要的胁迫，而是由于缺乏正义感，厌倦正义，恶贯满盈。因为我所偷的东西，我自己原是有的，而且更多更好。我也并不想享受所偷的东西，不过为了欣赏偷窃与罪恶。

A pear tree there was near our vineyard, laden with fruit, tempting neither for colour nor taste. To shake and rob this, some lewd young fellows of us went, late one night (having according to our pestilent custom prolonged our sports in the streets till then), and took huge loads, not for our eating, but to fling to the very hogs, having only tasted them. And this, but to do what we liked only, because it was misliked.

在我家葡萄园的附近有一株梨树，树上结的果实，形色香味并不可人。我们这一批年轻坏蛋习惯在街上游戏，直至深夜；一次深夜，我们把树上的果子都摇下来，带着走了。我们带走了大批赃物，不是为了大嚼，而是拿去喂猪。虽然我们也尝了几只，但我们所以如此做，是因为这勾当是不许可的。

Behold my heart, O God, behold my heart, which Thou hadst pity upon in the bottom of the bottomless pit. Now, behold, let my heart tell Thee what it sought there, that I should be gratuitously evil, having no temptation to ill, but the ill itself. It was foul, and I loved it; I loved to perish, I loved mine own fault, not that for which I was faulty, but my fault itself. Foul soul, falling from Thy firmament to utter destruction; not seeking aught through the shame, but the shame itself!

请看我的心，我的天主啊，请看我的心，它跌在深渊的底里，你却怜悯它，让我的心现在告诉你，当我作恶毫无目的，为作恶而作恶的时候，究竟在想什么。罪恶是丑陋的，我却爱它，我爱堕落，我爱我的缺点，不是爱缺点的根源，而是爱缺点本身。我这个丑恶的灵魂，挣脱你的扶持而自趋灭亡，不是在耻辱中追求什么，而是追求耻辱本身。