忏悔录 Confessions | BOOKV Chapter 1 慈悲与义怒的上帝

BOOKV Chapter 1

慈悲与义怒的上帝

Accept the sacrifice of my confessions from the ministry of my tongue, which Thou hast formed and stirred up to confess unto Thy name. Heal Thou all my bones, and let them say, O Lord, who is like unto Thee? For he who confesses to Thee doth not teach Thee what takes place within him; seeing a closed heart closes not out Thy eye, nor can man's hard-heartedness thrust back Thy hand: for Thou dissolvest it at Thy will in pity or in vengeance, and nothing can hide itself from Thy heat.

你赋畀我唇舌，你督促我的唇舌歌颂你的圣名；请你收纳我唇舌所奉献的忏悔之祭。请治疗我全身骸骨，使我的骸骨说：“主，谁能和你相似？”[1]一人向你忏悔自身的情况，并没有告诉你什么，因为一颗心即使关闭着，也瞒不过你的眼睛，人们的顽强也挣不脱你的掌握；你或出于慈爱，或为了报复，能随意软化我们的顽强，“没有一人能逃脱你的炙热”。[2]

But let my soul praise Thee, that it may love Thee; and let it confess Thy own mercies to Thee, that it may praise Thee. Thy whole creation ceaseth not, nor is silent in Thy praises; neither the spirit of man with voice directed unto Thee, nor creation animate or inanimate, by the voice of those who meditate there on: that so our souls may from their weariness arise towards Thee, leaning on those things which Thou hast created, and passing on to Thyself, who madest them wonderfully; and there is refreshment and true strength.

使我的灵魂为爱你而歌颂你，为歌颂你而向你解说你的慈爱。你所创造的一切始终在歌颂你，从不间断，从不缄默：一切精神体是通过已经归向你的口舌歌颂你；一切动物，一切物质是通过观察者的口舌歌颂你；请使我们的灵魂，凭借你所造的万物，能摆脱疲懒，站立起来走向你，到达这些千奇万妙的创造者的身边，那里才能真正恢复元气，才是真正的力量。

Let the restless, the godless, depart and flee from Thee; yet Thou seest them, and dividest the darkness. And behold, the universe with them is fair, though they are foul. And how have they injured Thee? or how have they disgraced Thy government, which, from the heaven to this lowest earth, is just and perfect? For whither fled they, when they fled from Thy presence? or where dost not Thou find them? But they fled, that they might not see Thee seeing them, and, blinded, might stumble against Thee (because Thou forsakest nothing Thou hast made); that the unjust, I say, might stumble upon Thee, and justly be hurt; withdrawing themselves from thy gentleness, and stumbling at Thy uprightness, and falling upon their own ruggedness. Ignorant, in truth, that Thou art every where, whom no place encompasseth! and Thou alone art near, even to those that remove far from Thee. Let them then be turned, and seek Thee; because not as they have forsaken their Creator, hast Thou forsaken Thy creation. Let them be turned and seek Thee; and behold, Thou art there in their heart, in the heart of those that confess to Thee, and cast themselves upon Thee, and weep in Thy bosom, after all their rugged ways. Then dost Thou gently wipe away their tears, and they weep the more, and joy in weeping; even for that Thou, Lord, -not man of flesh and blood, but -Thou, Lord, who madest them, re-makest and comfortest them. But where was I, when I was seeking Thee? And Thou wert before me, but I had gone away from Thee; nor did I find myself, how much less Thee!

任凭那些彷徨不定和怙恶不悛的人逃避你吧！你依旧注视着，洞烛他们的黑暗。即使这些人是丑恶不堪，即使万有包括这些人在内，但万有依旧是美丽的。这些人能损害你吗？他们能破坏你的统治吗？从天涯到地角你的统治是公正而完善。他们力图逃避你的圣容，但能逃往何处？哪里你会找不到他？他们所以遁逃是为了不要看见鉴临他们的你，他们闭上了眼睛冲撞你——因为你并不放弃你所创造的任何部分——这些不义的人冲撞你，受到了正义的处分；他们自愿置身于你的慈惠之外，触犯你的正义，领受你严峻的处分。显然，他们是不知道你是无所不在，不受空间的限制，你是始终鉴临着远离你的人。希望他们回身寻你；他们叛离了创造的主宰，但你并不放弃他们。希望他们自觉地回身寻你，你就在他们心中：谁向你忏悔，谁投入你的怀抱，谁因困顿风尘而在你怀抱中流泪痛哭，你就在他心灵；你会和蔼地擦干他们的眼泪；因为，主，你不是一个血肉的人，你是创造他们的上帝，你现在又再造他们，抚慰他们。但在我追求你的时候，我自己究竟在哪里呢？你在我面前，我则远离我自己，我不曾找到我自己，当然更找不到你了。