忏悔录 Confessions | BookVI Chapter8 阿利比乌斯的败兴

BookVI Chapter8

阿利比乌斯的败兴

Him then I had found at Rome, and he clave to me by a most strong tie, and went with me to Milan, both that he might not leave me, and might practise something of the law he had studied, more to please his parents than himself. There he had thrice sat as Assessor, with an uncorruptness much wondered at by others, he wondering at others rather who could prefer gold to honesty. His character was tried besides, not only with the bait of covetousness, but with the goad of fear.

我又在罗马找到他，他以非常坚强的情谊和我往来，和我一起到米兰，为了不和我分离，也为了能应用他所读的法律，这与其说是他的志愿，不如说是他父母的希望。他已三次担任顾问，他操守廉洁，使人惊奇，而他却更惊骇别人把金钱置于正义之上。人们不仅用利诱，还用威胁来考验他的性格。

At Rome he was Assessor to the count of the Italian Treasury. There was at that time a very powerful senator, to whose favours many stood indebted, many much feared. He would needs, by his usual power, have a thing allowed him which by the laws was unallowed. Alypius resisted it: a bribe was promised; with all his heart he scorned it: threats were held out; he trampled upon them: all wondering at so unwonted a spirit, which neither desired the friendship, nor feared the enmity of one so great and so mightily renowned for innumerable means of doing good or evil. And the very judge, whose councillor Alypius was, although also unwilling it should be, yet did not openly refuse, but put the matter off upon Alypius, alleging that he would not allow him to do it: for in truth had the judge done it, Alypius would have decided otherwise.

在罗马时，他担任意大利财政大臣的顾问。当时有一个极有势力的参议院，许多人受他贿赂的笼络，或被他的威势所胁迫，这人自恃权位，常为所欲为，要做法律所不许可的事。阿利比乌斯不假思索，立予拒绝。许给他酬谢，他置之一笑。威吓他，他仍卓立不移。大家都惊奇他具有这种守正不阿的精神，对一个生杀予夺、炙手可热的人物，既不结交，也不畏服。阿利比乌斯是法官的顾问，法官本人对这人虽感不满，却不敢公然触迕，便把责任推卸在阿利比乌斯身上，只说他不赞成如此——事实确是如此——如果做了，他将投票反对。

With this one thing in the way of learning was he well-nigh seduced, that he might have books copied for him at Praetorian prices, but consulting justice, he altered his deliberation for the better; esteeming equity where by he was hindered more gainful than the power whereby he were allowed. These are slight things, but he that is faithful in little, is faithful also in much. Nor can that any how be void, which proceeded out of the mouth of Thy Truth: If ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous Mammon, who will commit to your trust true riches? And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own?

只有他的爱好学问几乎使他动摇：如果得到了法官的酬谢费，他能用以使人传抄书籍。但是他仍依据正义的考虑，作出更好的决定，认为禁止犯法的公道，高于纵容非法的权力。这是一件小事。可是“谁忠于小事，也忠于大事；倘若你们在不义的钱财上不忠心，谁还把真理的钱财托付给你们？倘若你们在别人的东西上不忠心，谁还把你们自己的东西给你们呢”？[11]这些话出自你真理之口，不是毫无意义的。

He being such, did at that time cleave to me, and with me wavered in purpose, what course of life was to be taken.

这样一个人和我相契，和我一起考虑着我们应该采取怎样的生活方式。

Nebridius also, who having left his native country near Carthage, yea and Carthage itself, where he had much lived, leaving his excellent family-estate and house, and a mother behind, who was not to follow him, had come to Milan, for no other reason but that with me he might live in a most ardent search after truth and wisdom. Like me he sighed, like me he wavered, an ardent searcher after true life, and a most acute examiner of the most difficult questions. Thus were there the mouths of three indigent persons, sighing out their wants one to another, and waiting upon Thee that Thou mightest give them their meat in due season. And in all the bitterness which by Thy mercy followed our worldly affairs, as we looked towards the end, why we should suffer all this, darkness met us; and we turned away groaning, and saying, How long shall these things be? This too we often said; and so saying forsook them not, for as yet there dawned nothing certain, which these forsaken, we might embrace.

内布利提乌斯也离开了邻近迦太基的本乡，离开了他经常去的迦太基，离开了他父亲遗传的大批田地，离开了家庭和不愿随行的母亲，来到来兰；他的来此，没有其他原因，不过是为了和我一起生活，共同以最迫切的心情研究真理和智慧。他热烈地追求着幸福生活，邃密地探索着各种最疑难的问题，也和我一样在呻吟叹息，傍徨不定。我们这三个饥渴之口，彼此都迫切地想吸取所需要的东西，都企望你“赐给他们应时的粮食”。[12]由于你的慈爱、辛酸紧随着我们世俗的生涯，在辛酸之中，我们探问着担受这些辛酸究竟为了什么；眼前是一片黑暗。我们转身叹息着问道：“这种种到何时为止？”我们屡次如此说，可是我们一面说，一面并不放弃这样的生活，因为我们看不到确切可靠的东西，足以使我们拳拳服膺而放弃目前的种种。