大过年的，送你25个冷笑话吧

01

我去扎几个橘子，你就躺在此地，不要走动。

I'm going to get some tangerines. You lie here. Don't move.

02

这是一个倒过来的霉无疑了。

This is definitely an upside-down Taylor Swift.

03

A cockroach saw this scene in the last moment before it died.

04

才锻炼了5分钟就去照镜子。

Someone who just worked out for 5 minutes and is already checking himself out in the mirror.

05

读 [θ]

It pronounces as [θ]

06

早上又睡过头，第一节课无奈坐第一排吃粉笔灰的你。

You who got up late again and are currently sitting in the first row having a shower of chalk dust.

07

Wake up! QJD's men are coming!

08

下班时间的宜家工作人员 vs 前来蹭床的老大爷

An Ikea employee at the closing time vs. A grandpa who just arrived for a free bed.

09

—— Waste him.

—— As you say.

10

蛋蛋被割掉的第三天，想它。

The third day after the balls got cut. Missing them.

11

My deskmate was about to ask the teacher a question. Thank god, I've stoped him.

12

Seriously! The teacher is not breathing! The class is over!

13

Calming down gradually.

14

女厕所门口排在最后的一个已经到了极限。

The last one in the queue outside the lady's room has reached her limit.

15

Nobita, I've brought you Suneo's head. You've been avenged. You can rest in peace now.

16

It has taken me so many decades to burn the books after the entrance exam.

17

Don't cry, sweetie. Look, look, I'm folding an origami crane for you.

18

起个大早、早饭都没吃就赶来上班，然后想起今天是周六。

Woke up really early. Skipped breakfast. And rushed to the office. Then you remembered it was Saturday.

19

Which table has ordered these shashliks?

20

成功躲过了一个碰瓷的老爷爷。

Successfully avoided a grandpa who tried to con you for money.

21

Every class has someone who takes broadcast exercises really seriously.

22

毛利叔叔连续躲过了柯南的30根麻醉针。

Mr. Mouri successfully dodged 30 of Conan's anesthetic needles in a row.

23

闪开！我看不见后面的海豚了。

Get out of the way! I can't see the dolphin behind you.

24

大半夜里饥饿难耐，结果一打开冰箱发现什么也没有。

Feeling really hungry deep in the night, you opened the refrigerator and saw there was nothing in it.

25

+5

You've got 5 scores.