新晋大学生干货分享 | 如何写大学申请文书

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作者妈妈的碎碎念

去年这个时候，我正琢磨着：参加学校的application boot camp 再加上essay tutor ，八月底开学前，common app essays 应该写得差不多了吧。

接下来是凄惨的秋天，early decision deadline 之前，我收到essay tutor 血淋淋的反馈和警告：If she turns in subpar essays with her application, her high test scores and grades will be questioned by the admissions readers.

接下来是让人抓狂的冬天，我每天开着大小姐去一家咖啡馆，终于，在一家星巴克里，她被灵感撞了头。

春天来的时候，那些因为她写不出来流的眼泪，我因为帮不上忙而抓的狂以及deadline 前半小时忍无可忍地敲她的房门：求你了！别改了！交了吧！也都成了甜蜜的回忆，我们的故事。。。

女儿说：This application process was stressful for me, but when I got to know myself a bit better and started to become inspired by myself and my interests, writing became pretty fun.

女儿告诉我：You can't be genuine if you aren't inspired by yourself. 我说这句话说得多好啊，你还有什么essay advice 给那些同样在stress中的uprising seniors 吗？

于是，有了这篇。

作者背景自我介绍：

In my college applications， I picked the following majors: 1st Philosophy, Politics, and Economics (PPE), 2nd Economics for Liberal Art Colleges (LACs). Some LACs instead asked for areas of interest, so I inputted Economics, PPE, Sociology, Public Policy Analysis, Philosophy, Urban Studies, Cognitive Science, Music.

根据我自己的背景，喜好以及综合实力，我重点申请的是文理学院。我首选的专业是：Philosophy, Politics, and Economics (PPE)，然后是 Economics. 有些文理学院要求填写个人感兴趣的方向，我填写的是：Economics, PPE, Sociology, Public Policy Analysis, Philosophy, Urban Studies, Cognitive Science, Music.

想不出来写什么怎么办？

I don't know what to write!

Find your academic niche(s)

If I’m being honest, I deliberately exploited my interest in philosophy by making sure to include how philosophy readings have changed my outlook on life and influenced my other academic interests i.e. economics. However this interest still came from a genuine place and that’s the key. I'm not forcing you to be interested in anything you're not interested in, but if you have a cool fixation/interest in something slightly uncommon, you are a more interesting person both on paper and in real life.

If you don't have a niche already

You can always talk about things you want to learn, like string theory or cryptography, read and learn about it. Colleges want nerdy people. They often tell you to gush about a topic you enjoy learning about.

My own brainstorm process

I struggled for a long time while brainstorming for my personal statement. My stress mainly stemmed from a perceived need to find a single impactful moment from my life, e.g. an anecdote about volunteering at the homeless shelter or an ultimate apotheosis. The more I thought about my lack of tragic and impactful stories, the more miserable I became. I finally got over my funk by writing a supplemental prompt first: “If you could teach any class, what would it be?” My response to it was related to political philosophy/utilitarianism, and I found my voice through it. In short, my passion finally showed itself.

Excerpt of My Essay

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One source of disillusionment is the phrase “for the greater good,” often uttered by politicians. Instead of letting my vaguely cynical hostility towards this phrase remain static, I channeled my frustration into an analysis to uncover different perspectives and learn. In political controversies today, the centerfold is often a hidden debate of the responsibility of an individual in the service of a collective purpose. I observed that akin to “greater good,” we often use the phrase “deep down” to distance ourselves from the reality of the consequences of our actions. However, there is a clear distinction between the moral preservation of a society versus that of a single individual. Due to the ethical duty to benefit future generations, one could argue there is some merit to “greater good.” As a nation, our current definition of “greater good” is our GDP, which measures our worth as a nation. If, or when, we challenge what “greater good” means, the value of utility and utilitarianism will fall under a spotlight, and rightfully so. …

卡住了怎么办？

What if I get stuck?

Talk to someone

Ask your loved ones to tell you things they like about you. Don’t underestimate the power of external validation. It's helpful to view yourself from a new, fresh vantage point.

Just Start Writing

If you're still stuck, brainstorm by writing about your favorite place, quote, song, or book, rather than only trying to remember a specific incident in your life. In other words, as a starting point, write about whatever gets you excited. You can't be genuine if you aren't inspired by yourself.

给同是亚裔的你：

So What We are Asian

Throughout this entire process， I had this image in mind (although I have zero interest in CS, the sentiment still holds). I feel like it’s near-universal for Asian Americans to possess an impulse to distance themselves from their Asianness. I looked at my activities list and saw the typical Asian activities - classical piano, choir, etc., but it’s both impossible and unnecessary to “whiten” my activities because they are inextricable parts of me. Meaning: these activities have already shaped me into the person I am presenting in my essays, so why retroactively correct/“whiten” them?

In hindsight, I shouldn't have dwelled on images like this, or more broadly the Asian American affirmative action debacle, simply because it didn't do me any good. If this keeps bothering you, discuss the topic with a friend and vent your frustrations out. Settling into a victim mentality will only hurt your application.

我的文书得到了心仪学校欣赏的原因是

My essay works because

I showed the admissions office a multifaceted picture of myself.

I have both short and long term goals (my econ research, desire to learn about radical economic theory in college etc).

Excerpt of My Essay

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I want to continue analyzing the moral foundations of our society today and using those lessons to criticize global financial and economic practices. To further my studies of natural capital accounting (NCA), I will research its real-world effects on the balance of corporate, consumer, and collective responsibility. I want to confront the real-world effects of NCA and present tangible solutions.

I’m a fun, energetic, resolute, detail-oriented, appreciative person - as communicated through my essay responses.

Excerpt of My Essay Responses

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What's your favorite way to eat a potato?

Thick cut french fries with extra salt. Preferably the ones served at slightly run down beachside restaurants, served in flimsy red plastic gridded trays alongside crinkly brown wax paper. Those quintessentially American restaurants are undoubtedly familiar, yet they aren't boring and soulless like McDonalds.

Marvel or DC? Pepsi or Coke? Instagram or TikTok? What's your favorite "this or that" (you are not restricted to these three examples), and which side do you choose?

I’ve always preferred forests over beaches. I’ve had the opportunity to camp with friends in a forest, and every time I walk out of our tent the trees and the gravel paths have something different to say.

You're relaxing on a Friday night. Suddenly, your favorite song pops into your head. What is it?

"A Lot's Gonna Change" by Weyes Blood. Her lyrics are honest, like a window into her soul and relics of her past. Her 60s-folk-singer-esque vocals coupled with the modern, thoughtfully added synths evoke different feelings every time I listen. I feel like soaring. Music is unlike anything else.

If there are aspects of your identity that you feel are not captured elsewhere in this application, please provide that information below.

My podcast about fast fashion in social entrepreneurship class, as well as my stated interest of economic theory, showed a clear interest in politics and desire to change the status quo - I can’t speak for every major but I imagine that for the most part, many LAC schools values tangible activism or entrepreneurship in relation to pressing societal issues -- the Critical Inquiry seminars make this pretty clear. USC, CMC, and many other LACs have something similar.

*NOTE: I strongly dislike my response for this question bc it is too cocky and on-the-nose. Very much telling, not showing. Perhaps this works for additional info - ask your counselor about this section.

I’ve always been a somewhat combative person, but I’m proud that I’ve grown from a stubborn, dogmatic person to a resolute, iconoclastic person who craves diverse perspectives. One of my teachers has recently told me, “you’re opinionated in a good way.”

Music supplement

My submitted classical opera/piano videos were "very good" (as per music department). Along with a description of my experience with classical music, I also expressed a desire to learn jazz and its sociological dimension. which coincidentally ties into a few of the critical inquiry seminar prompts.

Excerpt of My Essay

In my free time, I will improve my jazz piano and singing skills. To supplement this, I hope to take the course History of Jazz, which will further my understanding of jazz music as a purported form of counterculture.

I played to my strengths

Every university values “intellectually curious students who are willing to challenge their own perspectives”, but LACs place particular weight on this. The LACs I applied to are similar in this regard, but each school has its quirks.

The majority of the schools I got into were LACs, and this wasn’t surprising. I played to my strengths, and my acceptances were accordant with the values I displayed clearly in my essays.

几点小建议

Dos and Don'ts

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When colleges say “express a willingness to learn and challenge one’s line of thinking” be very specific and write at least one example of you already doing this.

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Plenty of people conduct research, but colleges can tell whether you actually care about said research or not.

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Avoid words like plethora, myriad, variety.

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Balance of down-to-earth-ness and sophistication.

This is somewhat subjective, but when you know you’ve struck this balance you can feel it. I added a bit of humor because it fit my essay, but make sure not to add any self-deprecating humor -- colleges want confident people who are still willing to challenge themselves. Bear in mind that humor isn't a requirement; I added humor because I thought it added another dimension to my personality. I read something online which stated that an AO read a small addition to a student's application that was "like a cold splash of water or an electric shock; it made the student come alive." That's what you should try to do, whether through humor or a unique part of yourself.

写在最后

Final Words

This application process was stressful for me, but when I got to know myself a bit better and started to become inspired by myself and my interests, writing became pretty fun. The SAQs (short answer questions) in particular were probably the best part.

My essay tutor helped push me in the right direction after a period of uncertainty, where I hopped between incoherent ideas. He really helped me find the traits within myself that made me unique.

My Essay Tutor

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	书单推荐书单 Recommended Readings
	https://tetw.org Reading long-form articles helped me better synthesize ideas and search for bigger ideas in my own writing.
	WIRED magazine, The New Yorker, The Atlantic
	https://www.collegeessayguy.com/blog/college-essay-examples