● ●● 犹太智慧系列 | Jewish Wisdom series
How to talk to children about the conflict in Ukraine
以色列教育专家观点：如何与孩子们谈论俄乌战争？
The horror unfolding on our TV screens is affecting children
BY RABBI DAVID MEYER
作者：大卫·梅尔
It is hard to imagine that only a few weeks ago the most important item on the news was Partygate. Today it is war.  
简直难以想象，几周前新闻里的头条，还是英国首相鲍里斯·约翰逊的“派对门”事件。今天，头条则是战争。
The sheer horror of the pictures we are all seeing and reports we are hearing are hard to contextualise. While the burden of this terrible conflict is borne by the citizens of Ukraine, the reality is that we are all suffering.  
我们看到的图片和听到的报道中释放出来的纯粹是恐怖，然而我们很难感同身受。不过这场战争的沉重不仅落在乌克兰人民的肩头，事实上，我们每个人都在承受着那个重担。
Pupils from Sinai School are collecting goods to be sent to Ukraine
以色列西奈学校的学生们正在收集物品，准备送到乌克兰去
There is a feeling of despair and helplessness as we see a campaign of evil, with echoes of the past and our questioning whether “never again” has become “yet again” as the world is seemingly standing by and allowing these atrocities to take place. 
当看到邪恶的事正在上演时，我们不禁回想起过去，我们也会质疑是否“永远不要再次发生”（never again）已经变成了“然而还是再次发生”（yet again），这个世界似乎正在袖手旁观允许暴行的发生，这些都让我们有一种绝望和无助的感觉。
We are also marking the second anniversary of the first lockdown from Covid, a time when we rightfully hoped to be seeing the end of the pandemic and for the world to look brighter and happier. Instead, we are struggling with darkness and despair.
新冠疫情以来以色列的第一次封控至今正好两周年，我们原本希望看见疫情的结束，希望看见世界变得越来越光明和幸福。然而，我们还在与黑暗和绝望斗争。
Yet again, at the forefront of this tragedy are our children and there is no question many are being severely affected by recent events. It is almost impossible to protect them from the images of destruction, the fears of global conflict and the spectre of a nuclear war. Our children feel and often magnify our fears and we must be careful to be sympathetic to their needs and support them.
悲剧直接影响了我们的孩子，毫无疑问，近期的许多事件正在严重影响许多孩子。我们几乎不可能不让他们去看那些破坏性的图片，全球冲突和恐怖袭击的可怕画面，以及核战争幽灵的图片。我们的孩子能够感受到而且会放大我们的恐惧，因此我们必须注意去关心他们的需要，给他们支持。
Schools are having discussions with classes and trying to reassure their students; however, as is so often the case, it is the parent or guardian that plays a critical role in supporting the child. How this is done will vary depending on the age and needs of the child, and you know your child best.  
很多学校都在和学生讨论，试图安抚孩子们；然而说到给孩子安抚和支持，通常是家长或者监护人扮演着非常关键的角色。这到底要怎么操作，取决于孩子的年龄以及具体需求，因为你更了解你的孩子。
In a recent PaJeS talk for parents, psychologist Dr Anna Colton advised on the importance of listening to your children’s concerns and reassuring them that we are safe. At younger ages this may be by showing a map and illustrating how far away we are from the conflict.
在最近的一次家长论坛中，心理学家安娜·柯乐顿建议，听孩子说出他们的担心非常重要，也要让孩子相信我们是安全的。如果是比较小的孩子，家长可以给孩子看世界地图，让孩子看到我们离战争地点有多远。
For older ages the concerns may be moralistic, such as the frightening realisation that we can have a world leader who directs such evil atrocities. These fears can lead to feelings of dissonance and even despair, as they grapple with dilemmas such as the refugee crisis or how to protect innocent civilians while navigating the danger of expanding the conflict.  
对较大一点的孩子，他们的担心可能跟道德（正义邪恶）有关，比如他们会可怕地意识到，竟然存在着一位领导了如此暴行的世界领袖。恐惧会让孩子产生失调感甚至是沮丧感，因为一些矛盾可能会引发他们的内心冲突，比如难民危机，或者如何保护无辜平民同时又要防控冲突扩大的危险。
However, this can be an important learning experience, and especially for older children this is an insight into the challenges of the real world. It is important that they appreciate that that not every person is necessarily good, that sometimes, and especially when we remain silent, evil can prevail over good, and that making the right decision can be very difficult.  
然而，这些都可以成为重要的人生经历，特别是对大一些的孩子，这是他们认识这个真实世界的挑战的机会。他们需要认识到不是每个人都是好人，有时候，特别是如果我们保持沉默的话，邪恶可能会战胜善良，那样的话，要做出正确的决定就会非常困难。
Dr Colton also stressed the importance of managing our own parental anxieties, not “doom scrolling” social media or obsessively watching the news. These behaviours fuel our fears and heighten anxiety in our children.  
柯乐顿博士也强调了父母管理好自己的焦虑的重要性，不要刷社交媒体或者看新闻上瘾。这些举动会给我们的恐惧添柴加火，也会放大孩子的焦虑。
We may all be feeling a level of helplessness and it is also important that we try to make a positive contribution. In the week of Purim, it is perhaps poignant to appreciate that the Fast of Esther precedes the celebrations of Purim. It is a reminder that our prayers and actions are critical in ensuring the triumph of good over evil.  
我们可能都会在某种程度上感到无助，因此，我们要去做一些积极的尝试。在刚刚过去的普珥节（关于普珥节：为何犹太人这一天如此快乐？Esther & Purim）的一周里，认识到以斯帖的禁食在普珥节的庆祝之前，这一点非常关键。这在提醒我们，我们的祷告和行动能够极其有力地保证善良战胜邪恶。
In the true Purim spirit, let us hope that through our prayers, charity, and good deeds we will see a speedy resolution to this conflict and go back to a time when the guest list at No 10 was our biggest worry.
让普珥节的精神真正激励我们，让我们心存盼望：通过我们的祈祷、募捐和好行为，我们很快就会看到战争平息，冲突解决，而我们的生活很快就会恢复过去的平静。
来源：《犹太年鉴报》
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