留学之梦,从关注“筑梦联盟DreamBuilder”开始!
今天我们从NYU的三位DreamBuilder的成功申请人的案例说起,来给大家讲解一下Career Goal该如何写。首先来看看NYU的Essay题目:
Required Essay: Professional Aspirations(350 word maximum)
  • What are your short- and long-term career goals?
  • How will the Part-time MBA help you achieve them?
这个题目包含了两个部分,一是Career Goals,二是Why MBA/School,我们这一期先讲Career Goals。
申请界里面流传这样一个公式:
Career Goals - Work Experience = Why MBA
这个公式中其实包含了Career Goals的三个写作要点,我们逐一给大家分享一下。
要点一:深思熟虑并详略得当
很多申请人问过我,career goals只有一个大概的方向,但具体要做什么还没想好改怎么办?这个时候需要尽可能详细地描述你想发展的方向,并向AO(Admission Officer)展示你对你的career goals已经做了深思熟虑。举个例子,假设你的career goals是想要创业,但还没有想好具体的创业方向,只是大概知道是快速消费品这个方向,因为你已经在这个行业工作了三年,在这样的情况下,你也要尽可能把你的career goal写得详细,体现你做过仔细的思考,比如你可以分析行业,探讨现在快速消费品行业的发展如何、有什么未满足的需求,这样大概的创业方向至少可以显示你的career goals是你深思熟虑后得来的。
我们来看看DreamBuilder的实际案例:
My long-term goal is to bring financial literacy to people in low- to middle-income countries. I want to join or establish a cloud-based personal finance education start-up as a founder. In the short term, I want to be a leader in the Cloud & AI technology industry by fulfilling my clients’ most important needs and enhancing service quality.
上面的这个例子中,指出了具体的行业痛点,即申请人想解决的问题,并且写出了具体解决的方法(通过Cloud & AI technology),从中可以看出申请人对行业的理解和对痛点的挖掘,这样的Career Goals能够让AO感受到申请人对行业的热情。
要点二:追踪溯源且情真意切
这就是我们常说的authentic,千万不要编造career goals,你只需要情真意切地写出来你真实的所思所想即可。你可以分享你的故事,可以告诉AO你什么怎么想出自己的Career Goals的,故事往往来得更有说服力。请看下面DreamBuilder的实际案例:
At [school name], as my capstone project, my friend and I built a sphere-like robot to teach children the fundamentals of computer programming. Our prototype won the highest scores and made the headlines. This experience has ignited my eagerness to use technology to innovate. 
这个例子申请人分享了自己在学校做项目的经历,说明自己对科技创新热爱的起源,为接下来写未来的Career Goals是用科技引领创新埋下伏笔。
再看一个DreamBuilder的实际案例:
I was born and raised in four different educational environments: [names of four cities]. I saw, firsthand, how vastly different yet important technology and education are. For example, most [people in a certain country] go to work after middle school and more than 49% of the population lives in poverty. This is just one example of where I can make a positive impact. As a cloud solution architect at [company name], I am designing cloud solutions for Fortune 500 companies. I believe I can leverage technology to innovate education.
作者很真诚地分享了自己的成长故事,也告诉AO自己目标的起源,做到了情真意切,也能从文字中感受到作者对该行业的热情。
要点三: “承上启下”
你的Career Goals需要可行性,无论是继续从事之前的行业,还是转行,都需要有详细的规划,证明你确实能够按计划实现你的短期目标。如果你想转行,要写清楚具体怎么操作,比如你之前的工作经验哪些对你转行求职有帮助,中间有哪些gaps,你如何利用在读书的这段期间弥补这些gaps。如果你不想转行,那么你要写清楚你接下来的职业发展,是回到之前的公司, 还是跳到新的平台,以及你打算怎么实现你的职业规划。请看下面DreamBuilder的实际案例:
To realize my long-term goal, I have accumulated expertise in building data-driven solutions at [company name]. Furthermore, my degree in [education background] will help me manage the financial side of the business. Meanwhile, I believe Stern’s MBA program will be a crucial addition to help achieve my goals.
作者写出了之前的那些工作、教育经历可以帮助他实现自己的Career Goals,这能够让AO相信你的Career Goals是可实现的,而且MBA的学习能够帮助作者“承上启下”。
以上的范文分享都来自Dream Builder真实的申请案例,如果你也在纠结Career Goals该怎么写,欢迎与我们联系,我们一起集思广益。祝大家申请加油!
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筑梦联盟DreamBuilder是Jerry(哈佛商学院+MIT工程学院)和美国高校写作老师及专业作家创办的Workshop,我们分享留学申请的宝贵经验,同时专注于文书修改服务,希望能够帮助所有英语不是母语的华人申请人突破语言障碍,发掘自身闪光点,做最好的自己!最后飞越重洋,实现自己的留学梦。
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