亲爱哒,牛妈想起来好久没有发英文漫画了。
怪我,让你们的英文都退步了呢!(才没有)
那今天就让我们继续学习吧!
这篇漫画的中文版本在这里:

活人不能被尿憋死,但能被逼怂

正文的分割线

When my daughter was two, I took her to the park one day.
When we were leaving, I had an urge to pee.
If you've had small kids, you know what a challenging job it is to take a child away from a playground.

We almost got to our car, I was about to win the battle, I did not want to ruin it and go over again.
But after we got in the car, I received a message:

It's from the seller of a used bike.

I bought used clothes, toys, supplies... for my kids. I had my eyes on this bike for a while, and the seller finally replied!

After 10 minutes, I arrived at the complex she lived in.
There was nothing but forests and lawns around, and all the buildings were locked.

I've never felt the existence of my bladder as strong as this moment. It's like a comic artist overworking for months and at the very edge of a breakdown.
My lower belly was so tight that even the slightest movement can cause an overflow. I couldn't think about anything else, even the cheap bicycle. The only thing I could focus on was to find a place to pee. Right. Now.
I squirmed out of my car, holding my tummy, quickly and steadily scanning around the area.
At this point, if I could run into someone, even they had "psycho" written on their forehead I would still go home with them to use their bathroom.
It's the only way!

I've done it before, it's not that hard!
But after looking around, I hesitated.
How did I forget? I've had the very best tool to solve this specific problem all this time!
So I took one diaper, stretched it out and flattened it on my seat.
I mean, I've had good food or good sex. But let me tell you, compare to this, they are all overrated. 
I scrabbled to pick up the dripping diaper and tossed it under the seat, opened the other one with shaking hands and slid it under my butt.

But as you know ( the audience: no we don't), you can't hold it back at this point.
In the peaceful serenity, I sat in the little puddle created by the sag of my genuine leather seat, reflected on my life. 
And I came to a realization----
You might think, in my current condition with my wet pants and smelly clothes, I would run home as fast as possible.
Yes, normal people would do that.
But I was not normal.
I've been through way worse, small obstacles like this would not stop me!
With the urine smell radiating out of me, I smiled, talked to and paid the seller with composure and ease.
Holding my daughter with one hand and the bicycle with my other, I felt my life was complete.

Oh honey, don't question your mommy.
I did all this for you, you!

Later...
The end

Thank you for reading!
如果你能看到这里,
说明你的英文真的很不错!
别忘记给牛妈挑刺哦!
挑出没有奖励。
之后我会把这篇发到英文网站上去,
到时候看看歪果仁什么反应吧!
黑黑黑
好啦,
这个周末也要完美的度过哦!
“这是个有味道的公众号”

扫描二维码关注我
如果你喜欢这篇,你也会喜欢:

那些童年缺爱的孩子,后来变成了怎样的大人?

从美国幼儿园老师那偷来这招,我的耳朵有救了

继续阅读
阅读原文