那些年英国大学上课：外国老师的口音让我怀疑人生….

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今天是一年一度的教师节

那么颈长就来说一说初入英国大学时

那些令人抓狂的世界各地英文口音...

上大学以前

我们都幻想着走进大学的课堂

就像进入BBC演播厅

每次上课都是一次

8D环绕360度四维立体英式英语演讲体验

结果我们迎来了来自

法国意大利西班牙葡萄牙希腊

日本韩国印度中东南非墨西哥的老师

他们操持着不能再明显地当地口音

每上一次课仿佛云游一个国家

云游不同国家我是不介意

可上课听不懂我是很介意啊！！

颈长仍记得本科时一个希腊教授

带给我印度接线员同款崩溃听感

他们真的是在说英语吗？

我这么多年英语算是白学了

下面颈长就播放几段

常见的非英语母语口音

(以防一脸懵，音频后有文字版内容)

虽然现在听起来满耳萌萌哒

但当年The struggle was real

👇

01.「法」法国口音

There has been some rumours that my restaurant is not the finest in all of Paris. These People are fools! They know nothing about food!

02.「德」德国口音

What is it with the spiders? They come into my room. I squash them then another one comes in. I want to know what goes on inside their little brains, they are crazy ya!

03.「意」意大利口音

I have added you on the facebook but you need to accept my request so we can talk on there because my phone bill is too high. Ciao!

04.「俄」俄罗斯口音

Hey Artyom it’s Yakov here, we have a buyer for the Soviet Antique Hat Collection. He has deposited the money directly into our account! We are going to be rich! Hoorah!

05.「印」印度口音

OK what you need to do is go into settings, go to network, put in the administrators password, then click reset all internet data.

06.「日」日本口音

So this guy thinks because he can imitate a lot of accents he is strong? He’s a fool and cannot do Japanese without sounding like a Samurai master from a hollywood movie!

07.「非」非洲口音

Hello! I just want to remind you that anybody that will cause a nightmare to me, I will deal with you! Even your mother, your father, your brother, your sister, your daughter or your son!

这熟悉的配方

是不是有你大学教授(和外国朋友)内味儿了？

不过就算是英国本地教授

日子可能也没有想象得那么好过

虽然大部分教授尽量keep标准英语

但一说激动兴奋了谁管三七二十一

苏格兰、利物浦再或伦敦Cockney口音

全部一齐上线

这时候，你的高配录音笔可能就派上用场了

以下这13种英国本地口音

盲听看看你能认出几种？

01.「英」Cockney东伦敦腔

So I was talking to this Russian bird(woman) in the pub the other night right, and she was teaching me her language. I think I'm getting the hang of it now: Privet, menya zovut (Greetings, my name is) Steve. Quality Mate!

02.「英」RP英语标准发

As long as you listen to the sound of my voice, you are going to be safe all of the time, everytime. Thank you for helping me help you.

03.「英」Posh上流社会口音

So a gentleman in a hooded jacket approached me the other day and said,’What have you got for me blud?’ So one replied:’What on earth is a blud? One has never heard of such a word in one’s entire life!’

04.「英」Scouser利物浦口音

Mate I’m absolutely gutted! Me girlfriend left me and no matter what I do like, no matter how hard I try she won’t take me back.

05.「英」Brummie伯明翰口音

All I wanted for dinner was curry and chips but now my ovens broke and I’m sad.

06.「英」Geordie纽卡口音

It only took me about 18 minutes to find what I was looking for at 2:35am.

07.「英」兰开夏口音

Hey up what you lot doing up here? I thought I told you to go teh(to the) shops and get me some grub. I’m bloody starving, and don’t tell me you don’t know where they are cos I told you the other day.

08.「英」英格兰北部口音

So I looked all up and down the country and guess what I found? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! So I just gave up and went home!

09.「英」苏格兰口音

Now I can tolerate being called British. But if you ever cross the line and call me English, I will snap your wee(little) neck, you got that pal?

10.「英」威尔士口音

Now let me tell you something:Plaid Cymru is the one true party of Wales, and in the UK general election you should have voted for them!

11.「英」北爱尔兰口音

Now it’s time to declare my favourite number: my favourite number is the number two, and you better slow down with your food mate your gonna choke now.

12.「英」印度二代移民

Yo I have to get off the phone now bruv cos my aunty Rajinda just arrived from india so I’ll call you back yeah? Don’t forget to tell Saeed to come on Fifa(Foodball Game) Later innit(Isn’t it).

13.「英」巴基斯坦二代移民

Sorry Tariq I can’t come to Pakistan with you today bro. I am with my little cousin at Alton Towers(Amusement Park) waiting to go on Rubber Dinghy Rapids man.

来人啊

英国这么小的地方

怎么能有这么多种口音

这完全不符合我的fantasy!