托福独立写作一向令考生头痛,无外乎因为两点:找点难,扩充难
而经过一定时间训练的同学会发现自己逐渐有了思路,看到不同题目怎么着都能凑齐几个点,但是却不知道如何展开……
今天让我们一起来看一篇潘淼老师的作文。
他将最常用的三种主体段展开方式揉到了一篇文里,用实例教会你如何有效展开
题目:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? College students should take a part-time job.
主体段1
First, working as a part-time, young adults are likely to become economically independent. When I was in college, I worked in a restaurant that needed waiters and assistants for chefs. The restaurant owner paid me ten yuan per hour. Though it was not a large sum of money, it meant a lot to me. As a typical college student, after all, I only had one thousand per month from my parents to cover my living expense. However, with five hours a day and twenty days a month in that restaurant, I no longer had to rely on my parents for money.  [102]
展开方式一:主旨句(论点)+个人故事举例
这种方式在独立写作当中很常用,即编写一个与论点相契合的个人故事,用来佐证自己的观点。
在这一段中,作者的观点是兼职工作可以助学生实现经济自立。为了服务于这一论点,作者用自己的亲身经历举例:曾经在餐馆打工,薪水虽然不多但足够让“我”自立,不再依靠父母。
这种用个人举例的展开方式比较简单,讲一个故事证明论点即可。但在使用时一定要注意扣题,不能编无关的话,不能脱离论点。
主体段2
My second reason is that having a part-time job in that restaurant hones my ability to relate well to people. For one thing, I get chance to interact with my colleagues and supervisors, a kind of occupation relationship that could hardly be established with my classmates or professors back to campus. For another thing, I came to master useful techniques of dealing and communicating with the diners who are so likely to be angry and picky with the service and products; at home, in contrast, what encircles me is often the tolerance, love and even spoilage from my parents. In such a setting, how can I learn talking to strangers I meet in society? [115]
展开方式二:主旨句(论点)+两方面佐证, 每方面作一个对比
作者的观点是在餐厅兼职的经验提升了其人际交往能力。为了证明这一论点,他从两方面展开,同时每一方面都有一个对比。
一方面兼职提升了职场沟通能力。
对比这一能力无法从师生关系、同学关系中获得。
另一方面兼职提升了陌生人社交能力。
对比这一能力无法在家庭中获得。
相对于方式一,这种展开方式难度稍高,但只要掌握了这种方式,你就会发现它真的特别好用!
首先,你不用过分担心编例子离题万里;
其次,这种展开方式注定字数不会过少,不用费劲心力瞎凑字数;
另外,多种句式都可以借助这个套路得以发挥,比如同位语、插入语等。
主体段3
Also, and maybe more importantly, having such working experience widens my horizons. For example, as I said in the second paragraph, I helped chefs in the kitchen, so I was treated to many chances to witness the preparation of a range of food products such as pizza, sushi, burgers and pasta; when I helped my manager with the office stuff, I saw the procedures and some principles of running a 20-employee organization; being busy with the schoolwork plus the job also taught me how to make plan to have things organized and coordinated. What I learned there ended up as major assets to me, and only by walking off the campus could I learn all these things that my classroom had never taught me. [125]
展开方式三:主旨句(论点)+例子
论点:兼职可以拓宽视野。
虽然也是主旨句(论点)+例子,与方式一不同的是此段没有个人故事,而是罗列了三种可以佐证论点的情况:见证不同食品的准备过程;了解企业运营;学会做计划。
这种罗列型的展开方式搭配并列式结构,可以为作文加分不少。 
这三种展开方式你get了吗?
除展开方式以外,你还能在这篇作文里学到很多实用的写作技巧。如果能够掌握这些技巧,独立写作分分钟26+。
不信?
那请你回到原文,做以下几个练习:
1) 找出定语从句、状语从句和名词性从句
2) 找出并列句
3)每⼀段都有⾄少⼀组并列的形容词或名词吗?
4)在描述⼈的句⼦中,哪些句⼦没有⽤⼈做主语?
5)哪些句⼦没有直接⽤“I”开头,⽽选择了状语做开头?
6)找出介词短语或副词做插⼊语的例⼦
7)找出反问句
8)找出倒装句
9)找出同位语
如果能在一篇作文中使用上述技巧, 还会发愁写作成绩吗?
你可能会说:道理都懂了,但关键是我不会用啊……
这你就无需担心了,加入 TFT 写作小组,潘淼老师手把手教你怎么应用不同方法技巧写出高分作文。 
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