简庆芬,你永远无法战胜那个想象中的 Rebecca
如果是Rebecca呢?
如果是rebecca呢?
如果我不是这样的呢?
。
在网友的讨论中,我们经常会看见指责简庆芬 和 Rebecca 的“不满足”,因为她们的不满足,才导致一系列后果的产生。
很多时候,我们所产生的一些负面情绪,确实都是因为我们并不知道自己的基本需求没有被满足。或者,我们都不曾意识到自己有哪些需求。
比如,有时候我们感觉被优秀的同事“卷到”,心里会有一些淡淡的不满。
但这种注意和不满,可能提示了我们实际上是内心有胜任的需求和成长的欲望没有被满足。References:
Broomhall, A. G., & Phillips, W. J. (2024). Upward counterfactual thinking and state depression: investigating a causal relationship. Current Psychology, 43(1), 486-501.
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2012). Self-determination theory. Handbook of theories of social psychology, 1(20), 416-436.
FitzGibbon, L., Komiya, A., & Murayama, K. (2021). The lure of counterfactual curiosity: People incur a cost to experience regret. Psychological science, 32(2), 241-255.
Nicuță, E. G., & Constantin, T. (2021). Take nothing for granted: Downward social comparison and counterfactual thinking increase adolescents’ state gratitude for the little things in life. Journal of Happiness Studies, 1-28.
Suls, J., Martin, R., & Wheeler, L. (2002). Social comparison: Why, with whom, and with what effect?. Current directions in psychological science, 11(5), 159-163.
Vogel, E. A., Rose, J. P., Roberts, L. R., & Eckles, K. (2014). Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem. Psychology of popular media culture, 3(4), 206.
Walsh, C. R. , & Byrne, R. M. J. . (2005). The mental representation of what might have been.
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