中译英|最极致的东方浪漫——打铁花
【原文】
打铁花时,表演者手执两根花棒,迅速跑至花棚下,用下棒猛击上棒,让小圆坑中的铁汁冲向花棚顶端,滚烫的铁汁碰击到棚顶迸溅四射,流星如瀑,点燃了鞭炮,炮声齐鸣,声震天穹。技高一筹的表演者,能一棒击中老杆最高处,点燃最高处的烟花鞭炮,称为“中彩”。中彩者当自报家门,披红挂绿,奖励钱物,荣耀至极。
【参考译文】
During the performance of Datiehua, or “beating iron flowers”, which means molten iron fireworks, a performer quickly runs to the shed (a 6-7 meter-high double layered shed covered with fresh willow branches and firecrackers, with a 3 meter-high pole standing in the center), with two willow ladles in his hands. He strikes one ladle filled with hot molten iron violently from below with the other one to spew the liquid iron in the scoop on to the shed, creating a rain of sparkling iron parcels. Meanwhile, the firecrackers are also ignited, crackling, dazzling in the sky. Experienced performers can hit the pole in the center of the shed with one strike, igniting the fireworks and firecrackers tied to it. This is called “winning the luck”. The performer will introduce himself to the audience, dressed in fancy honorary clothing and is richly rewarded and widely admired.
翻译组:
Nikolae,新手人民教师,声优探索者,乃木坂47与AKB49
校对组:
Xiao,富春江小翻译
Rachel,学理工科,爱跳芭蕾,热爱文艺的非典型翻译
解析组:
Xiao,富春江小翻译
Rachel,学理工科,爱跳芭蕾,热爱文艺的非典型翻译
【翻译解析】
校对解析:
1,加入花棚的具体形态,有助于读者理解整个场景。
2,原译文对敲击部分的描述有误,应是上棒中有圆形坑槽,装铁汁,用下棒敲击上棒,震出铁汁。
3,找了一些资料,丰富了译文表述。
https://uknowchinese.com/the-chinese-intangible-heritage-dashuhua-is-still-only-reserved-for-the-brave/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dashuhua
https://english.visitbeijing.com.cn/article/4Dlzuie9zjg
审稿解析:
1,翻以前的准备工作。通过网上查找,chinadaily 以及其他的英文报刊杂志都能看到关于打铁花的描述,可以给予译者一定的翻译思路。
2,译者通过查找背景资料,在原文翻译中进行了补充,可以让读者更好的了解,是严谨的体现。
3,“打铁花”“datiehua” and “beating the iron flower”都是字面的意思,不是英文的解释,所以在字面翻译的同时,可以加上英文的解释。
4,通过查资料,“花棒”一词的翻译个人认为ladle更好,因为更为形象和贴合实际。
5,“自报家门”就是自我介绍。“披红挂绿”这里是修辞,就是披上荣誉的一些装饰,如彩绸等等。
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版权声明:以上内容为用户推荐收藏至CareerEngine平台,其内容(含文字、图片、视频、音频等)及知识版权均属用户或用户转发自的第三方网站,如涉嫌侵权,请通知[email protected]进行信息删除。如需查看信息来源,请点击“查看原文”。如需洽谈其它事宜,请联系[email protected]。