母亲内心的冲突——该如何直面对孩子的「恨」？
课程导读
▸ 母亲的内心对孩子可能怀有怎样的冲突和矛盾感受？
▸ 根据温尼科特，为什么母亲会对自己的孩子有“恨意”？
▸ 为什么比起“完美母亲”，孩子更需要一个“不完美的”真实母亲？
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Deep maternal alienation

'Let me give some reasons why a mother hates her baby," wrote the world-famous paediatrician Donald Winnicott in 1947. "The baby is ruthless, treats her as scum, an unpaid servant, a slave ... He is suspicious, refuses her good food, and makes her doubt herself ... "
"My children," wrote the poet Adrienne Rich 20 years later, "cause me the most exquisite suffering of which I have any experience. It is the suffering of ambivalence, the murderousalternation between bitter resentment and raw-edged nerves and blissful gratification."
Couched in deadpan or lyrically anguished language, the suggestion that mothers might hate - yes, hate - their children still has the power to disturb. Lionel Shriver's 2005 Orange-prize-winning novel We Need To Talk About Kevin turned on this unacceptable idea of deep maternal alienation, and its potential to provoke societal mayhem.
来源：The Guardian

参考译文
母亲的深度孤立
享誉全球的儿科医生唐纳德·温尼科特在 1947 年中写道：“让我来解释一下为什么一位母亲会恨自己的婴儿。”“婴儿残忍无情，把她当作一个下等人，一个无报酬的仆人，一个奴隶... TA 多疑，拒绝她给的好食物，让她怀疑自己......”
20 年后，诗人艾德里安娜·里奇写道：“我的孩子们给我带来了我所经历过的最深的痛苦。这是一种矛盾心理的折磨，是苦毒的怨恨、敏感的神经和幸福的满足之间的痛苦交替。”
这段冷峻或者说以痛苦的语言书写成的文字所传达出的信息，至今仍然有着震撼人心的力量，那就是母亲可能会恨，没错，是恨她们的孩子。莱昂内尔·施莱弗在她 2005 年获得橘子文学奖的小说《我们需要谈谈凯文》中，探讨了母亲深度孤立这个令人难以接受的话题，以及它造成社会性灾难的可能性。
重点词汇
alienation /ˌeɪliəˈneɪʃ(ə)n/ n. 疏离感
○ the feeling of not being part of society or a group
○ e.g. Unemployment may provoke a sense of alienation from society. 失业可能会引起不容于社会的感觉。
paediatrician /ˌpiːdiəˈtrɪʃn/ n. 小儿科医生，小儿科专家
○ a doctor who has special training in medical care for children
ruthless /ˈruːθləs/ adj. 无情的，冷酷的，残忍的
○ not thinking or worrying about any pain caused to others; cruel
○ e.g. ruthless ambition 冷酷无情的野心
○ e.g. a ruthless dictator 残忍的独裁者
scum /skʌm/ n. 人渣，败类
○ a very bad or immoral person or group of people
○ e.g. Don't waste your sympathy on scum like that. 对这样的渣滓你没必要同情。
exquisite /ɪkˈskwɪzɪt/ adj. 剧烈的，极度的
○ Exquisite is used to emphasize that a feeling or quality is very great or intense.
○ e.g. exquisite pain/pleasure 剧烈的疼痛/极大的快乐
ambivalence /æmˈbɪvələns/ n. 矛盾情绪，双重人格，对人、对物或对观点的相对立态度或感情的共存，如爱和恨
○ The coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings, such as love and hate, toward a person, an object, or an idea.
○ e.g. Many people feel some ambivalence towards television and its effect on our lives. 很多人以矛盾的态度对待电视及其对生活的影响。
murderous /ˈmɜːdərəs/ adj. 令人非常难受的
○ extremely unpleasant
○ e.g. The traffic was murderous today. 今天的交通堵得要命。
alternation /ˌɔːltəˈneɪʃn/ n. 交替，从一种事物或状态变为另一种事物或状态并再变回来的一系列变化
○ successive change from one thing or state to another and back again
○ e.g. The alternation of sun and snow continued for the rest of our holiday. 我们剩余的假期里依旧时而晴天时而下雪。
raw edge /rɔː edʒ/ n.（板、带材的）裂边，毛边
○ the edge of a piece of material before it has been sewn
blissful /ˈblɪsfl/ adj. 极乐的，极幸福的
○ extremely or completely happy
○ e.g. a blissful childhood/holiday 快乐的童年/假日
couch /kaʊtʃ/ v.（用特定风格的语言）表达（某事）
○ (be couched in sth.) to express (something) in language of a specified style
○ e.g. The letter was deliberately couched in very vague terms. 这封信故意写得含糊其词。
deadpan /ˈdedpæn/ adj. 故作严肃的，冷面滑稽的
○ sounding and looking completely serious when you are saying or doing something funny
○ e.g. deadpan humour 冷面幽默
anguished /ˈæŋɡwɪʃt/ adj. 痛苦不堪的
○ Anguished means showing or feeling great mental suffering or physical pain.
○ e.g. anguished cries 痛苦不堪的喊声
mayhem /ˈmeɪhem/ n. 混乱状态
○ a situation in which there is little or no order or control
○ e.g. There was absolute mayhem when everyone tried to get out at once. 众人蜂拥而出，造成了极大的混乱。
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