我的一位朋友，也是一位父亲有一天来找我谈话。他是一位非常成功的商人，在他的职业生涯中他赚了很多很多的钱。但是他的家庭却是一个烂摊子，他的妻子美丽可爱, 但他们的关系并不亲密。在他的婚姻生活中，他花了大部分时间用来赚钱，把抚养孩子的责任留给了他的妻子和孩子的祖父母。他几乎不了解自己两个已成年的孩子（现在21岁和23岁）。正因为如此，他的孩子们不喜欢他，也不尊敬他。事实上，他们已经背叛了他们的父母，他们的生活并不让父母感到骄傲。我的朋友很想知道是哪里出了问题，为此他该做些什么。
然而，这样的不幸有很多, 在美国和亚洲有很多成功的商人和我的朋友有着同样的境遇。他们已经取得非常巨大的成功，但他们的家庭生活却是一团糟。最终,他们才意识到他们做了一场失败的交易。但对一些人来说, 这太迟了。
我不确定对我朋友来说是否已经为时已晚。我们探讨了他能做的三件事以使得他和孩子们的关系能回到正轨，以下是我与他分享的三点建议:
1、带每个孩子单独外出就餐。利用这段时间先为自己作为爸爸的失败而向他们道歉。道歉并不是软弱的表现，它实际上是有能力的象征，只有有能力的人才能认清他的失败, 向他们道歉以赢得他们。我的朋友应该利用用餐时间问孩子一些问题, 以弥补他在孩子生命的缺失, 努力构建爱和理解的桥梁。
2、一起用餐后，给孩子写一篇发内心肺腑的信。让他的儿子/女儿知道他是多么喜欢和他们在一起，以及他有多爱他/她。他需要为自己没有成为一位好父亲再次致歉, 同时也重申他承诺一定要成为一位更好的父亲。书面文字有强大的力量，他的儿子/女儿可能会重复不断地读这封信…至少10遍。
3、兑现他的承诺。和他的孩子们保持亲密的联系，帮助他们、鼓励他们、尊重他们。当我们的孩子已经成年，有许多事情我们可以不再为他们做。但父亲是一辈子的工作…我们可以做得更好。
是的, 想要成为更好的父亲永远不会太迟。这是我的全球畅销书《成就好爸爸》一书中的主要信息之一。父亲是男性一生最重要的工作，为你的孩子尽快开始这项工作吧，不要像我的朋友，不要等到你的孩子已经长大或几乎长大成人。现在就开始爱他们，孩子需要你的爱、管教、鼓励和祷告。请确信，父亲可以使一个孩子的生命变得不同。当然，妈妈同样也可以，但是很多的妈妈都致力于此，孩子可以看得见和理解。但作为父亲，我们还必须要工作，为了家庭所需而去赚钱，所以很容易和我们孩子的关系疏远。但是这是一个巨大的错误，如同我的朋友现在要面对的。
所以，爸爸们，不管现在你处于哪个阶段，让我们一起承诺，从今天开始，以及未来的每一天都成为更好的爸爸。我可以郑重的向你保证：不管是哪个阶段，只要它一旦逝去，将不再回来；再多的钱财也买不回已逝的光阴。所以这个周末——不管你在哪里或有多么重要的事，都请你暂时将这些搁置，与你的孩子共度一些有趣和难忘的时光吧。你的孩子们，也包括你将会永远记得这些幸福美好的时光。这些幸福美好的记忆（不像物质的财产）将会随着时间的推移变得越发珍贵。
史雷顿教授
英文原文  
DADS CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE
A friend of mine who is also a father came to talk with me the other day. He is a very successful business man who has made a lotof money in his career. But his family is a mess. He has a lovely wife, but they are not close. He has spent most of his married life making money. He has left the raising of his children to his wife and grandparents. He hardly knows his two young adult children (now 21 and 23 years old). Because of this, his children do not like him or respect him. In fact they have rebelled against their parents and are living lives that neither parent is proud of. My friendis wondering what went wrong and what he should do about.
Unfortunately there are many, many businessmen both in the US and Asia who are just like my friend. They’ve been very successful professionally – but their home lives are a mess. In the end, they realize that they’ve made a bad trade. But for some, it is too late.
I’m not sure if it’s too late for my friend. We talked about threethings he could do to try to get his relationship with his kids back on track.Here are the three ideas I shared with him:
1. Take each of his kids out for a nice meal…separately. Use that time first to apologize for his failures as a dad. Apologizing isn’t a sign of weakness. It is actually a sign of strength.  Only a strong man can recognize his failures,apologize for them and try to make them good. My friend should use that meal time also to ask a lot of questions, catch up on this child’s life and try to build bridges of love and understanding.
2. Write a heart-felt follow up note after the get together letting his son/daughter know how much he enjoyed the get together…and how much he loves him/her. He needs to say again how sorry he is to have not been a better dad, but also reiterate his commitment to be a much better father from now on. The written word has power. His son/daughter will probably read that note or email 10 times…at least.
3.Follow through on his commitments. Stay in close touch with his kids. Help them,encourage them, respect them. When our kids are already young adults there are many things we can no longer do for them. But fatherhood is a life time job…and we can always get better.
Yes, it’s never too late to be a better dad. That was one of the main messages of my global best-seller (Be A Better Dad Today成就好爸爸!! ).  Fatherhood is the most important job we haveas men. And it’s always better to start as soon as we can with our children. Don’t be like my friend. Don’t wait till your kids are grown up…or almost grown up. Love them right now. They need your love, discipline, encouragement and prayers. Yes, DADS CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE in a child’s life. Of course Moms can…and do…make all the difference too. But most moms are deeply committed to their children in ways the kids can see and understand. We Dads, because we also must work and earn money for our families, can easily get cut off from ourkids. But that is a huge mistake, as my friend has now learned.
So let’s commit, every one of us Dads, to being a better Dad today, tomorrow and everyday going forward. In my next Blog I will give you Dads three concrete tips for being a better Dad starting right away. Hope you will join me!!
Gregory
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