导读
所有中国人在学习英文写作的过程中不可避免地会受到中式思维的影响。而英文写作和中文其实不大相同,这些不同处体现在思路、论证、遣词造句等方方面面。一些细心的同学会发现,有时候我们用中式思维写出来的英文文章往往能与中文一一对应翻译,算得上是表意明确,但却算不上是上乘的英文。
中式英文之鉴》(The translator’s guide to Chinglish) 的作者Joan Pinkham从一位英语母语者的角度,定义了“中式英语” --- Chinglish is (a) misshapen, hybrid language that is neither English nor Chinese ... that might be described as “English with Chinese characteristics”
这本书总结了中式英语的各种类型,辅以实例讲解如何修改。从英文写作的角度,它能帮助我们寻找自己写作习惯当中的中式英语,同时也告诉我们语言修改润色方面的一些基本准则。
写作天团在仔细钻研了整本书后,决定推出《中式英语之鉴》系列推文,选取书中重点类型、典型案例,帮大家化繁为简、学以致用。
上一篇文章介绍了多余的修饰词(redundant modifier)和不言自明的修饰词 (self-evident modifier),今天我们来介绍语气加强词 (intensifier)。
语气加强词可以是形容词(比如serious、great),也可以是副词(比如extremely和certainly)。我们需要思考这些词是否必要。
通常来说,越少越好 --- More often than not, an English text is better off without them.
01
今日中式英语(1):
修饰弱词的语气加强词(Intensifier with weak words)
语气加强词可以用于修饰弱词来提高这个词的力度。但在英语当中,这往往是初学者的做法。
有经验的作家会直接选择力度强的一个词来代替这个弱词以及语气加强词。
比如,他会使用 “essential”、“imperative”、“vital”、“indispensable”、“crucial”等,而不是“extremely important”。
他会使用“they were determined to”、“had resolved to”、“were bent on”,而不是“they absolutely wanted to”。更多例子:
A: The people have a strong aversion to graft, bribery, embezzlement, and other dirty practices.
B: The people detest graft, bribery, embezzlement, and other dirty practices.
A: I firmly believe that our army will be able to steadfastly maintain its own character.
B: I am convinced that our army will be able to steadfastly maintain its own character.
A: I can surely tell you that nobody is able to stop the reform and opening up in China from continuing.
B: I can assure you that nobody is able to stop the reform and opening up in China from continuing.
02
今日中式英语(2):
 修饰强词的语气加强词(Intensifiers with strong words)
用语气加强词修饰一个本身语气已经比较强的词毫无意义,属于修饰词多余情况。
最典型的组合是“great historic”。“historic”这个词本身语气已经非常强烈了,再比如“implicitly contained”也是类型情况。更多例子:
A: If there is serious chaos in Hong Kong, the Chinese government would be forced to reconsider...
B: If serious disturbances occurred in Hong Kong, the Chinese government would then be compelled to reconsider...
(“Chaos”在英语中的语气是很强的,这种情况必然已经是“serious”的。)
A: “All this conduct has severely damaged the reputation of the medical profession and must be firmly banned,” the minister said.
B: “All this conduct has severely damaged the reputation of the medical profession and must be banned,” the minister said.
A: These practices should be totally abolished.
B: These practices should be abolished.
03
今日中式英语(2):
其他常见容易变得多余的语气加强词
Active/actively
A: Active efforts should be made to develop small-scale mining.
B: Efforts should be made to develop small-scale mining.
A: I think we should actively promote the establishment of a new international political and economic order.
B: I think we should promote the establishment of a new international political and economic order.
(“promote”这个动作本来就是主动的。如果想要加强语气,可以使用“we should vigorously promote”、“make every effort to promote”、“use all means to promote”。)
Effective/effectively
A: To benefit the people by means of an effective control of the Yellow River.
B: To benefit the people by controlling the Yellow River.
A: We should effectively protect the legitimate rights and interests of foreign investors.
B: We should protect the legitimate rights and interests of foreign investors.
Actual/actually; true/truly; real/really
A: The people’s procuratorates must always pay attention to actual facts.
B: The people’s procuratorates must always pay attention to facts.
A: He devised tactics for battle according to the actual situation.
B: He devised tactics for battle according to the particular situation.
(“据现实情况而定”这个表达并非强调“actual”,而是说根据不同的情况具体去做某事,所以应该使用“particular”。)
Successful/successfully
A: To successfully accomplish the arduous and complicated tasks defined at this congress...
B: To accomplish the arduous and complicated tasks defined at this congress...
A: We should keep in mind the days when scientists of the older generation successfully developed the atomic and hydrogen bombs.
B: We should keep in mind the days when scientists of the older generation developed the atomic and hydrogen bombs.
04
感想
很多时候,多余的语气加强词不仅没有起到应该有的作用,反而产生负面的效果。
比如“all social circles are tremendously enthusiastic about providing education”这句话中,“enthusiastic”语气已经很强了,“tremendously”就显得多余。
有时候,因为多余的语气加强词,反而会引起读者质疑。比如,如果我们讲“historical experience has proved that ...”读者可以直接接受,而如果讲“historical experience has convincingly proved that ...”,读者反而会思考历史经验是否能够说服人呢。
英文作家的建议:
-William Zinsser [pp. 109-110]
Most adverbs are unnecessary. You will clutter your sentence and annoy the reader if you choose a verb that has a precise meaning and then add an adverb that carries the same meaning... Again and again in careless writing, strong verbs are weakened by redundant adverbs.
-Lauren Kessler and Duncan McDonald [pp. 117-118]
When you intensify an already intense word, be it adjective or verb, you do more than add clutter. You sap the word of its strength. Once you have chosen a powerful word, you must trust it to stand on its own...
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