每到雅思报考的节点
常常都是几家欢喜几家愁

为什么?

抢个名额不容易……
事实上
每年光是能够
  参加雅思考试的人  

 都有200万多人次  
这其中

对于中国考生来说

最难的当属口语和写作

而写作平均分

在四个单项中不占任何优势
有烤鸭说
“我背了那么多好句子,
甚至范文,
为啥就是够不到7分?”
今天Kelly老师
根据最新考试趋势
选择了一道热点作文题目

一起来看看
  你的6分与别人的7分作文  
  究竟差在哪?
PS:你可以拿出纸笔
跟着Kelly老师练练笔
题目
Some people argue that the fittest and strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports. But other people think the success is much related to the mental attitude. Discuss both views and give your opinions. 
不管是语文考试的作文
还是雅思
在写作上都是共通的

1.审题——确定作文的主题
2.判断类型——确定写作思路
该作文题目,属于双边讨论型,要求列出双边观点并举例。
接下来
请先停下3分钟
模拟自己正身处考场

静静思考这篇作文你会怎么写?

如果条件允许

你也可以试写一篇

构思好了

那就先来看看7分作文长啥样

7分作文
The essential factor that leads to the success of a sport individual or team is always a popular topic on which people’s opinions differ. Some strongly believe in the importance of fitness and physical strength of the athletes, however, the others argue that extraordinary mental strength is of greater influence. I tend to support the latter one.
In my opinion, physical strengths and fitness determine whether an individual or a team has the potential to win due to the close relations between them and the performance of an individual or team. For instance, in track and field games, even 0.1 second difference could result in a completely different ranking. A professional athlete spend great amount of time and energy to manage his fitness level and improve his physical strength to become faster and stronger so that he is physically competitive to be a winner.
However, what really determines the athletes’ performances in the games is their mental readiness. Many of us have seen on TV that athletes crying over their couches’ shoulders saying, “I have been training for win this game for the past 4 years, but I did not demonstrate my 100% ability in the game just now.”. These athletes trained themselves hard enough and were physically ready to achieve their personal goals, yet failed because their mental status were not adjusted well. The sport game result is decided by their one-time performance instead of their training records overtime, therefore, if they are feeling anxious, stressed out, or even overwhelmed, it is almost a guarantee that they will lose the game.
To sum up, both physical strength and mental strength are necessary for one to become an outstanding athletes, however, it is the mental status that plays a more vital role in determining who is the ultimate winner in a specific sports game. 
似乎看起来没什么……

那再来看看

6分作文有何不一样
6分作文
There is an opinion that achievement in sport only relates to a physical strength and fit. Some people think it is more connected to the mental attitude. Both opinions are significant and must be properly considered.
直接切入主题,但是没有点明自方观点,没有社会背景介绍,不符合西方行文逻辑。而且题目中只是让大家讨论孰轻孰重,Only 用词太绝对,有偷换概念之嫌。
Body fit and the ability to go through physical trainings will lead to greater results in sport. It is important to build muscles and develop vitality to run faster and be stronger to choose heavier weight. Physical strength plays a vital role in reaching higher achievement in sport.
句子无明显错误,但文字太空洞,只反复强调体质很重要,却没有更有说服力的具体例子。
Mental attitude is significant to welcome new challenges and positively affects all areas of the competition. The person can be very strong physically but when he/she is mentally weak it usually leads to a failure. The ability to not give up when the time comes is important for all successful sportsmen.
To my mind, physical and mental strength are equally significant to reach great achievements in sport. The ability to keep calm connected with great body shape and ability to perform physical tasks are qualities required for the great success in sport.
这一段闲得很鸡肋,缩短点放到第一段当背景介绍比较合理。行文结构最稳妥的依然是总-分-总,并且首尾段应该短,中间主体段占篇幅应更长。
而且这篇6分作文
有一点致命问题

全文202字,没有达到题目要求,重点扣分。
这样一分析
很明显就能看出差距
有同学会说
“通篇看来,
7分作文的每个单词都认识,
但是为啥我就是写不出来?”
别急
Kelly老师对7分作文
也做出了评价

7分作文评析
开头——总
背景介绍紧接着是两方观点,逻辑清晰,观点自然对立。第三句明确抛出观点。最后一句话点明主体段第一段的中心思想。
中间——分
第二段举例子支持论点,数据化的例子说服力强且非常直观。
第三段过渡到自方观点,比上一段对方观点稍长。并再一次举具体事例,采用Many of us have seen来企图引起读者共鸣,增强感染力。
结尾——总
最后一段一个复合句,首尾呼应,总结全文,干净利落地结束。而且正篇文章的正确用词,展现了丰富的词汇量。
这个评析的Kelly老师是谁?

她说的靠谱吗?
Kelly Mo
▪4-year Bachelor’s Degree, 
▪Master Degree in education, 
▪Years of teaching experience, 
▪Native speaker level -
English Proficiency
▪York Region District 
School Board.
背了那么多单词、范文
到了考场想不到、用不好
这说明
你的方法用错了!
什么方法更有效?
Kelly老师有绝招
↓↓↓
短时间内轻松提分
就找Kelly老师
去哪找?
↓↓↓
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