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1. Common application
Common application 分为主文书(main essay)补充文书(supplement essay)
主文书是一份通用的、所有你将要申请的学校都需要的文书;通过这份文书,大学可以了解到你是个什么样的人。
补充文书则是让学校对你有更深刻和全面的了解;很多学校之所以要求写额外的文书是因为他们想了解你是否是个有趣的人或者你是否适合他们的学校。
2. Common application essay
主文书有5个问题,包括:
A background, identity, interest, or talent
选择人数最多的题目。切记不要罗列,重点放在这个兴趣爱好对你的重要性,讲述它和你生活中其他方面的关系,你从中学到了什么,一定要表现出自己的热情、自己不同于别人的亮点。
The lessons from failure
选择人数排第三的题目。不要单纯的只是记叙这个故事,而是利用这个故事反映了自己的某一种特质和成长,要升华主题。
A time when you challenged a belief or idea
选择人数最少的题目。如果你有这方面的故事的,可以选择这个题目,但是如果没有真实的故事的话,一定不要瞎编。
A problem you’ve solved or you’d like to solve
选择人数第四的题目。和第二题一样,不要单纯的记叙,一定要升华主题,探讨解决问题的过程自己的成长、能力提升等方面。
An accomplishment or event that marked your transition
选择人数第二的题目。千万不要罗列,成就不见得是一件多么伟大的事情,例如我之前有学生进入宾大,他写的成就就是自己学会了拒绝别人。
3. 文书建议
一定要回答问题,不要答非所问;
最重要的是,一定要有细节,尤其是当你写的是经历的话;
一定要写自己真正感兴趣、热爱的事情或者发生在你生活中重大的、改变你人生轨迹的事情;
但是不要试图去谈方方面面,选择一个小的切入口;
如果你的文书涉及到其他人,尤其常见的是家庭成员、教练和老师,但不要变成对别人的描述,一定还要回到自己身上,毕竟文书是关于你的;
语言要自然,灵活运用简单和复杂的句式和词汇。
4. 文书中的“雷区”
太模糊的故事,没有任何细节,很容易让招生官认为你是编的;
关于金钱和地位,美国大学不希望录取那些骄傲自大的学生,如果在文书中强调金钱、社会地位等因素,会引起招生官的厌恶;
过于高深和抽象的话题,话题太深奥和抽象并不讨喜,有炫耀的嫌疑;
不建议写自己不了解的话题和领域;
不建议写自己如何刻苦地准备托福或者SAT考试这种题材,虽然你在这个过程中的确成长了很多,但是会给招生官留下两个印象,一种是你是个书呆子,另一种是你的英语水平太一般。
比较敏感的话题,例如政治、宗教、战争和未通过的法案,因为你不知道招生官是否和你是一样的想法。比方我有学生是忠实的桑德斯的粉丝,他想在文书中提到对桑德斯的崇拜,但支持桑德斯的人毕竟是少数。但是如果这个领域是你真正感兴趣,那也可以写,但是一定要从多个角度来写,不要只说一方面的观点,正如我的这个学生,因为对政治非常感兴趣,所以最后他写的角度是从民主党和共和党的角度去理解公平。
避免过于复杂和口语化的词汇和句式。
5. 成功案例分析
这是被Johns Hopkins录取的同学的文书。
I had never broken into a car before.
分析
极具吸引力的开头,这就是所谓的hook。经常有同学问我,能否直接用经历来开头,当然可以,但是得像这个开头一样不仅仅介绍了故事的场景(站在车旁边,要准备破车而入),还留下了悬念(读者一定有各种疑问,他为什么要做犯法的事情?他真的做了吗?故事如何发展的?)
We were in Laredo,having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.
分析
介绍经历,一定要有细节。5W1H(时间、地点、人物、事件、原因和如何)是最基本的,Laredo,Hotchkiss,Texas BBQ都是细节。
此处还有一个隐含的亮点,作者参加过Habitat for Humanity的志愿者活动,这是一个专门帮助穷人建造房屋的NGO,而且还是和college kids,前者是公益精神和经历,后者是和比自己年纪大的孩子的相处沟通能力,全都跃然纸上。
Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.
分析
细节:coat hanger,dumpster,最传神的是 a few steps back,这样一个动作把其他孩子的恐惧心理描绘得淋漓尽致。
“Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?”
“Why me?” I thought.
分析
“为什么是我呢?”进一步留下悬念,并且引入下文。
More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window’s seal like I’d seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.)The other was the realization that I’d been in this type of situation before.In fact, I’d been born into this type of situation.
分析
从具体的经历转向对主题的升华,引出下面的对家庭教育和由此带来的性格特色的反思。
My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home wasloud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. “The water’s on fire! Clear a hole!” he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I’m still unconvinced about that particular lesson’spracticality, my Dad’s overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.
分析
这段看似介绍家庭情况,实际上是在反映作者身上沉着冷静的气质和能力。最后一句是主题,这种方法大家也可以学起来,当你要去升华主题、介绍抽象的概念时,可以在前面铺垫非常具体生动的故事。这样从具体的故事引出抽象的概念,会让读者更容易理解。
语言诙谐幽默,尤其是you know,in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.用casual的语言(you know)弱化父亲过于严肃和严格的形象。
Living in my family,days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, Ilearned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable atry. I don’t sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don’t expect perfectfairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.
But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, Inever controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attemptsto control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes,I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.
Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped allseniors would reflect on throughout the year: “How can I participate in a thingI do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?”
The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.
Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did notgovern, in the company of people I did not choose. It’s family. It’s society.And often, it’s chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence,optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.
分析
最后这几段都在升华主题,从介绍家庭教育自然过渡到介绍自己沉着冷静的性格和对未知事物的处理能力。展望未来,作者这样的特点让他做好了应对一切未知困难的准备。对生活有着清醒而深刻的认识、对未来的困难具备了沉着应对的态度和能力,学校怎会不青睐这样的学生呢?
6. 这篇文书还可以如何改进?
有些地方用了太多过于口语化的词汇,例如"twistsand turns" and "don’t sweat the small stuff”;
在倒数第二和三段,作者试图用另外一个经历(校长的问题所引发的思考)来再次证明这种对未知的处理能力不仅仅局限在家庭生活中。其实这个例子用得不算出彩,因为只是一个思考过程,并没有实际的例子,但如果在这回到文章最开始讲的那个故事的话,就会更加分。
7. 补充文书
补充的文书是学校为了了解你是否有趣,以及你是否和学校是适配的。每个学校问的题目是不尽相同的,从这些题目可以看出这个学校的风格和所偏好的学生。
三点建议:
第一,一定要了解自己的学校
了解学校的历史、价值观、专业、教授、校友的评价等方方面面。
第二,把学校和自己结合起来
尤其是几乎每个学校都会问,“你为什么想申请我们学校?”遇到这个问题,一定要把你对学校的兴趣和自己联系起来,切忌一味地拍学校的马屁,而是一方面说学校为什么吸引你,另一方面要说学校能为你提供什么帮助、对你而言有什么用。
第三,一定要看清字数限制
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